Listing your "ethnic" preferences

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-19-2005
Listing your "ethnic" preferences
12
Mon, 04-03-2006 - 4:59am

We've seen the choices available when doing Match.com searches. You know, the "Caucasian", "Latino/hispanic", "Asian", etc checked box selections...

But say you're in a different venue, such as CL, that requires you to write your own original text. Have you included mention of your preference for a white, asian, black mate etc? A lot of people do it. Heck, most of us can't help who we are attracted to race-wise. But is this really in poor taste?

I ask this, because in a recent ad, I listed my preference for dating a caucasian male. Benign request? apparently not. Someone found it rather offensive and took the time to shoot me an angry email. And that's okay, I mean, he's certainly entitled to his opinion. But oddly enough, this guy proceeds to mention his own aversion to dating white girls! (acceptable, only because he would never *say* so in an ad).

According to him, I should just "ignore the men you're not interested in".

My initial intent was simple: Less sifting. It's no mystery women receive a lot of emails, and I don't like the idea of wasting someone's time. As many of us know, some folks really put a lot of energy into that first email. So why encourage the masses? That's just my opinion anyway.


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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-19-2005
Tue, 04-04-2006 - 2:56am

Thank you for your words of wisdom everyone.

Despite his harsh words, I felt compelled to reply. Why? Okay, really not sure. I tend to be a bit of a pacifist, perhaps. Something just struck me. Whatever the case, I'm glad I did, because this arrived today:

"I have just been humbled. I debated whether to send a response to your response..and I am sorry about the pathetic statements I made. I actually stumbled across the craigslist site while looking for bedroom furniture. I am so saddened by the postings. The women are more sensitive (of course), whilst the men clearly just want sex (and post pics of their privates)....it's quite unbelievable re: the deep divide of wants/desires between women/men.

I must admit that I was frustrated because I was intrigued by your photo, and then read your posting. In hindsight, I did not have the right to make that sweeping statement and all I can say is that I am sorry.

Well, it has been an interesting way to meet/dialogue. Again, I apologize for my rudeness and thank you for the grace you extended me. I hope/pray that you find a good man that will appreciate you.

Take care and have a great day/wonderful week! "

It left this girl with a grin on her face. :)

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Tue, 04-04-2006 - 8:11am

I really only am attracted to caucasian men & although i didnt mention it in the write up i made, i did choose only that race under the choices. & yet, i have gotten very few, responses from other races - & i just respoind as i would to anyone i wasnt interested in.


I dont think its "wrong" to mention it again, but it may be something that you dont need to do since you have it listed already. ? jmho

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