A little confused about a post-date situ
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| Tue, 02-14-2006 - 8:29pm |
Hey all, I had a nice date with a girl this past weekend BUT I had a little too much to drink and pushed the affection thing, i.e. kissing a little too far probably. Worse, I suggested we venture back to my place. We got along great though but she said in one of her emails since that it made her uncomfortable. I'll directly quote it:
"I'm not going to say you offended me but I was not prepared for you moving so fast when we just met. I'm not sure if you remember what I'm talking about but it did make me feel a little uncomfortable. You are a really sweet guy and I hope it was the drinks. It has just taken me a day or two to recover. I'll keep in touch but I really think we need to just be friends right now. I hope you understand.
Elizabeth"
My response was:
"You know, I was a little embarassed the next day and that's why I've beeen, more or less, checking to see if things were OK. I was feeling affectionate and a little emboldened (alright, downright buzzed) by the drinks and I pushed the kissing more than I should have. So, I'm sorry.
I definitely think you are an interesting person and I'm not playing games. If we get together again (which I hope) I think something like a movie or another lowkey activity would be nice. And, despite how things ended that evening I'm glad you still see me for the person I try to be.
Does that sound OK?
John"
We've had brief exchanges since but I'm unsure how to go about this further right now (obviously I'm interested in her).
The last email to her said something along the lines of I hope my email explained myself OK and that I'm planning on skiing this w/e, etc. Her reply was:
"It did make sense and thanks. I've really been busy these past two days. I really just don't feel very good. I think I'm starting to run a fever. I'm going straight to bed tonight. I was going to visit my parents but that is not happening. I might even leave a few mintues early tonight. I hope you have fun this weekend skiing. Talk to you later.
Liz."
What do you make of this? Should I just give her time and leave her alone for awhile? She's never signed off with her shortened name - obviously I'm overanalyzing...
I really like this girl and think there could be potential. What's the best way to handle it? Write it off as my inconsiderate behavior and move on or be the nice guy that I am see what happens?
Sorry this was so long.
John

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You are ok
When you get back from skiing ask her for another date. If she brings it up again--just say you are very attracted to her and respect her and won't push anything until she is ready.
No silly, you didn't bore anyone to tears. As the other poster said, I think you should wait until the weekend and then ask her out by Tuesday. If she doesn't accept, then unfortunately I would say you should let it go.
Hope this helps.
I hope you did not tell her that "You Like her a lot"!
you just met her! dont be too pushy this will turn her off. If she liked the kisses maybe she wouldnt have complained in the first place. I m not being mean here but chances are she is not that interested. so keep your distance a little and email her when you get back from the trip to ask how she has been. If she replies with enthusiasm you can ask her out again
Good luck!
Hey John, I agree with the suggestions to wait until you get back from skiing to ask her out again. You spooked her a bit so you need to lay back and give her some space...I wouldn't send more than one email between now and when you leave for the weekend...something like, hope you're feeling better, have a great weekend, I'll call you next week when I get back from skiing. And then CALL her to ask her out again, don't email her.
And definitely either don't drink or only have one the next time you get together (assuming she says yes, which I hope she will!).
Sheri
Hey John,
Women have this secret language that Men dont understand untill we get older.They dont like confrantation and half the time they have so many feelings going on inside there pretty little heads they cant make a desision or communicate logically with us guys so they tip toe around subjects for all kinds of reasons...anyway..
You need to move on without this girl in your life...CUT OFF ALL CONTACT NOW!..I'll explain:
You invited her back to your place..Every girl knows whats going down when they accept this inventation(believe this,Atleast they do subconsiously),But you gotta make them confortable.Need to make them want you more than you want them...especially on your turf(your place)..
So you screwed-up,And/or she lead you on and you took her up on it..She is either a tease or has multiple relationships going on NOT INCLUDING YOU..and I will translate what she said:
Girl says::...............................What she means in Guy speak(English)::
You are moving so fast..................You appear desperate(yuck)
Feel a little unconfortable...........Feels like a slut/and or unattracted to you(stil bad)
Day or two to recover...................Cant believe I let you touch any part of my body
Sweet guy........................Like you like my brother,any thought of sex=incest(very bad)
I REALLY THINK WE NEED TO BE FRIENDS RIGHT NOW!........KISS OF DEATH!!RUN,DO NOT WALK TO THE NEAREST EXIT, SEX NEVER GONNA HAPPEN(i am dead serious here)
Girl::Buisy,got a feaver,visit parents,run errands,comb my cat,whatever stupid excuse she thinks you will be nieve to believe.===Translated:I can't believe you did not get the I WANNA BE FRIENDS from the last email..I dont want to spend any time with you ever(panties never comming off buddy)..GET IT!
Girl: Hope you have fun==Translated: GOD,I hope you find someone else and leave me alone already...
BE FRIENDS+BUISY+HAVE FUN= I Never want to see you again in any sexual frame EVER..
Advise: Man to Man
A Woman will go to the ends of the earth if they want to be with you.If not,you need to NEXT them(find a girl that will WANT TO BE WITH YOU),I mean erase there number,NO more emails,talking,ect..
You can do better than her!Much Better Out there!
Also Be a Man,let the relationship stuff up to girls,Its there job to pin us down,not ours.You need to sample what life and differant women have to offer.You will know once you find that special Woman that brings value to your life.Which does not include sex(they all have the same parts)
I hope I dont get flamed too hard for this post,LOL...Its the truth though!
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