Little Man's Syndrome

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-20-2001
Little Man's Syndrome
10
Wed, 10-12-2005 - 10:27am

I don't know how many of you are familiar with this. Actually, I'm the same age as Michael J. Fox and have always been a fan of his, regardless of the fact that he's a short guy. I'm also short, so in the big picture, that doesn't really matter to me when it comes to dating. However, I have come across different guys who suffer from what I'm told is "Little Man's Syndrome". Usually these guys are 5'5 or under and oftentimes are rather thin or they have built their muscles up to "look" bigger than they'd normally be. Guy #3 that I met from Match.com was a classic case of this.

His photo didn't show that he was short or slight in build. I was of the thinking that he was 6', but maybe I just didn't remember his height from the profile. This was the same guy who talked about wanting sex early in a relationship and how he couldn't "commit" before having sex. After I met him, I realized that he obviously was trying to make up for his lack of overall size by wanting to be a real stud dog. Trust me, he didn't have the looks or charisma that Michael J. Fox would have--basically he was spinning his wheels with me.

But, I have met other men who somehow fit into that category. There was a guy I was attracted to a number of years ago. He was separated when I first met him and then later got back with his wife. He was a flirt and used what little charm he had to lure women into affairs with him. Thankfully, I wasn't one of his conquests, but I can see how a woman would have been taken in by him. He was probably not even as tall as I am, and I'm 5'3. (Interestingly, I became friends with his wife about the time she divorced him--he didn't deserve someone as good as she was.) I also later saw that he had a chip on his shoulder a lot of the time. A "know-it-all" attitude that also seems to be in with the mix of trying to make up for something that they lack. It's not always apparent when you first meet someone who is short in stature, but now I tend to notice it more quickly. They give this air of superiority that isn't flattering once you spend some time with them.

Of course, not ALL shorter men suffer from this, but looking back, I have met more than a few who seemed to think highly of themselves, when in reality, they were trying to make up for their shortness.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-09-2005
Wed, 10-12-2005 - 10:32am
I've met a few guys like this. It's a shame that they think acting cocky or having a bad attitude in some ways matches confidence. Sorely mistaken!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-18-2005
Wed, 10-12-2005 - 10:39am

I'd say a lot of men that are short do have this syndrome (not all). It reminds me of going to the dog park and how the little tiny dogs go and start barking at the big dogs, then the big dogs come up closer and the little dog moves away - got to big for it's britches so-to-speak, LOL.

 
 
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-09-2005
Wed, 10-12-2005 - 11:42am

Good analogy! Actually have a lil dog -- looks like the one in your picture and she cracks me up! Barking and carrying on when she sees a big dog and then scurries away when they come close!

Regardless, I love my dog and don't like when men say I don't have a "real" dog! (smile) I know they are joking though!

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2005
Wed, 10-12-2005 - 12:27pm
Tell me about it! I was seeing a little guy, for me he was short 5'8 I'm used to dating taller guys, I love tall guys, eventhough I am small 5'2. So this guy was so full of himself, cocky and he was even trying to make up for his height by trying to be funny and he was not! We started dating, but I noticed a lil attitude about him, he was so detached and like, take me or leave me kind of attitude. So I left him! I like a man who has confidence and that shows it. So yeap, he was trying to make up for his shortness.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-26-2005
Wed, 10-12-2005 - 3:27pm

Evidently Napoleon was under 5feet tall and as we all know he thought of globalization long before the present trend.

Hence the term Napoleonic complex for small men with egos the size of small nations trying to lord it over us lesser mortals.

About small dogs, I run out doors and men it is the small puny thingys that give me grief especially if their owners are any where insight.


iVillage Member
Registered: 10-07-2005
Wed, 10-12-2005 - 3:47pm

Hey Mitsy!
Small Man Syndrome is most definitely a real issue. I do not like to date small statured men because most of them (in my experience) have this problem. I learned early on about this "syndrome" because my uncle has it. He is about 5'3 and has never been comfortable with it. He has to have the biggest house, the biggest car, the biggest TV (it's like going to a movie theatre when you're in his family room), even the biggest backyard grill (it's literally the size of a hotel room... and it cooks burgers). I went out a few times with a guy who was about 5'5 when I was in college and he almost killed me on the back of his motorcycle going 100 miles an hour on the highway just to prove that he was "a real man". Never again. My advice, unless you're into the cocky, "know it all", "always has something to prove" kind of guy, just stay away!!

Meg

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-08-2005
Wed, 10-12-2005 - 8:34pm

Oh my god, I HATE that syndrome!! I see it most in my customers...most of them are men (orthopedic surgeons) and if they're on the short side, they are unbearably obnoxious!!! I just don't know what they think they're going to accomplish!!

Come to think of it, though, I've been steering away from shorter men on Match & yahoo...I guess I don't want to take a chance!

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-19-2004
Thu, 10-13-2005 - 11:15am
I do know it exists but i also think that it's not unique to "short" men there are a lot of men especially around women that think highly of themselves, think they are smarter than women etc.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-08-2005
Thu, 10-13-2005 - 1:17pm

Actually, one of my least favorite customers is a very handsome, tall,well-built young man. You'd think this would inspire him to have some confidence, but he's a real jerk - arrogant, rude, etc. so you're right, I guess it doesn't necessarily matter.

Someone once told me that (some - I don't want to generalize) very good-looking people never develop their personalities, because people are used to treating them a certain way because of their looks....and they never get past looks to their personalities. Do you guys think this has any merit??

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2004
Thu, 10-13-2005 - 7:59pm

I had a creative director once (I was working in an advertising agency at the time) who said the same thing.

Beautiful women don't always KNOW they're stupid or bitchy because everyone just looks at them and thinks "wow, you're beautiful" and don't pay attention to the stupid or bitchy stuff. (Okay it's a little harsher than your premise but it was coming from a gay man...)

I've seen it time and time again... except for my fabulously gorgeous, smart, witty friends!!! :-)

T