"living with roommates"

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-01-2004
"living with roommates"
25
Sun, 03-20-2005 - 10:27am
I may be a snob, but to me this is a dealbreaker.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-01-2004
Sun, 03-20-2005 - 2:12pm

Hi Seamus!


Hah!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-29-2003
Sun, 03-20-2005 - 2:21pm
I recently dated a guy who had a roommate. I was pretty turned off when I found out but decided to give him a chance. Turns out he was as frugal as they come and was sitting on a huge savings and investment portfolio. So, it's not always accurate to assume someone with a roommate is not financially secure, but what it did tell me about this person is that he was uber-frugal and that just clashes with my style. He was also very immature, btw.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2003
Sun, 03-20-2005 - 3:17pm

I'm 35 years old. I am university educated and hold an advanced level diploma. I went back to school while working full time. I have travelled around the world and lived abroad - by myself - for several years. I currently work two jobs - around 46-48 hours a week.


Although I normally don't reveal this type of info - this time I will....my net income is $15, 000 CND a year. Rent in this city for a one-bedroom is at least $1000 a month. You do the math. Now try and guess if I live alone or not.

 

 

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-22-2003
Sun, 03-20-2005 - 3:18pm

well i can sort of agree. but i live in one of the most expensive cities in the country, and well some ppl can't afford to live alone. or it doesn't make sense. I finally went back to living in a studio and i love it. but some men can't afford it and save money. does not mean they are losers - means they dont feel like spending $1000+ per month in rent in my city. its def ideal for me to find a guy who doesn'thave roommates but since im used to everyone having roomies in this city - not really a dealbreaker.

if you live in a city where rent is cheaper - and real estate is much more reasonable - then yes I'd say this would be ok as a dealbreaker. But in SF, no way...

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-02-2004
Sun, 03-20-2005 - 6:39pm

I'll be crass. To me "living with roommates" = broke a$$ MF.

I'll check them out, but my experience has been that they have some sort of issue.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-10-2004
Sun, 03-20-2005 - 7:45pm

I think it'd be shortsighted to decide that someone must be financially irresponsible just because they're over 30 and living with a roommate.

In fact, it's entirely possible that they are living with a roomie BECAUSE they're financially responsible. If you have a $1500/month apartment (and personally, I do- it's a two bedroom in an urban downtown area) then getting a roomie puts $750/mo into your pocket- that's 9 grand a YEAR.

If you make 45 grand a year, having/getting a roomie in that instance would be the equivalent of a 20% raise. Who couldn't use a 20% raise?

If you did that for 3 years, you could easily have 25 to 30 thousand more dollars in the bank than someone who didn't- which would make a heck of a difference in a down payment on a house if/when you met that special someone! ;)

All that said... I don't have a roomie, unless you count the dog. And he doesn't chip in enough on the rent! LOL

But the point is that there's plenty of good reasons to have a roommate. Some folks just like having someone else around; or what if you want to get a house versus an apartment, but can't quite swing the cash? Get a roomie, everyone's got separate places to go in the house, and your standard of living is higher.

My present gal has a roommate, and the roomie is super. The bedrooms are separated enough that there's no problem with... um... snoring. :) It puts more money in her pocket, when she's got to leave town for business there's someone home, and they're also great friends who do stuff together quite often.

So... just because someone has a roomie doesn't automatically equal "broke".

I think anyone disqualifying a potential partner for having a roomie is likely missing out of a lot of very good prospects for what is, after all, an easily changed situation.

I mean, let's face it- if you're dating to get into the fabled LTR, that you plan on eventually living with, the roomie thing isn't going to last forever. If you've got a place of your own, then you have somewhere for your... alone time.

I think this should be a "yellow" flag- something that's not an automatic DQ item, but something that deserves caution. If you meet someone and they appear to have a roomie so they have more money for smoking weed, then yeah, you're probably going to want to pass them by. If you meet someone and they have a roomie so that when they buy a house they can put 50 grand down (and they're still not a complete tightwad), that's a great thing and someone you might well want to know.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-01-2004
Sun, 03-20-2005 - 8:42pm
Roz!
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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-18-2005
Sun, 03-20-2005 - 10:56pm

I agree with NWW. I have dated men that were doing very well financially and owned a home.

 
 
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-27-2004
Mon, 03-21-2005 - 2:45am
If this is a relatively new 'acquaintance' how do you know if they're financially secure or not anyway?


MS
A man's got to do what a man's got to do.
A woman must do what he can't.

MS
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2005
Mon, 03-21-2005 - 8:46am

When I owned my house, I almost always had a roommate. Mostly it was military guys who were either waiting for or hated batchq, or married military with a transfer mid-school year and wanted to wait to find a residence when the whole family would move.

One was a girl who had just moved here from the left coast, didn't really know her way around, and we had a lot in common, so it was really fun.

Why did I have roommates? Well, I'm a single mom, never got a penny of CS, so the extra $$$ came in handy. I liked having the adult company. It was especially nice to have a guy around to help when extra muscle was needed.

Now, at 40, I'm living with my mom. Sounds Sooooo immature, right? Well, it's either that, or she sells her house and goes into a nursing home. That's not acceptable to me or her, or the rest of the family. I'm the only unmarried one, so it makes sense that I live with her.

When did it become shameful to live with your parents? I'm a huge fan of the multi-generational home. My eldest sister got to live with FIVE generations when she was little. I'm so envious of the connections she got to make with people that died before I was even born. As for my situation, I'm so grateful that my son had an extra special connection with his grandparents, and got to spend so much time with my dad before he died.

(And yes, I do see that a person could have some issues if they are 40 and their mommy is still making their bed and doing their laundry.)