The "LJBF" speech...

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Registered: 03-26-2003
The "LJBF" speech...
21
Sat, 03-19-2005 - 11:48am

I just couldn't do it last night. I had posted in another thread about deciding that I'm simply not attracted to this guy I've gone out with 4 times now, although I do like him as a person, enjoy his company and would be happy to go out as friends from time to time. But I couldn't get the words to come out of my mouth last night. I was very non-committal when he said something about how busy I am and it would be nice to spend more time together, and when he took my arm a couple times, I kind of pulled away (not in an obvious way but I'm sure my body language was clear). I'm feeling a bit like, gosh, I haven't seen him for weeks, can't he take a hint? But I know that's unfair, I need to say something. We basically went dutch last night btw...he bought dinner, and I treated him to a Sonics game.

So, especially for the guys on the board, how would you prefer to get the speech? I know *I* would prefer to get that in an email, because that way I wouldn't have to deal with it face to face (e.g., pretend I wasn't upset even if I was). On the phone seems awkward...and I don't plan to see him before I leave for Vietnam and I don't want to leave him hanging from now until we see each other again (which would be mid-late April).

Ugh. I hate this part of dating.

Edited to add: for those who don't know the acronym, LJBF stands for "let's just be friends".

Sheri




Edited 3/19/2005 12:51 pm ET ET by northwestwanderer

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 03-20-2005 - 3:38pm
I'm glad he understood and you probably feel like a weight has been lifted. I'm thinking I need to send the opposite email. The guy I've been on 3 'meets' with I think just wants to be friends (in fact I'm pretty sure) but I want something more. I want someone who is going to call me just to say hi and see how my day was. I want someone to hold my hand when we're out. I actually want to go on a date and have someone pick me up, go to dinner and a movie. I'm thinking I should have a "we're just not on the same page" speech. (so that would be WJNOTSP"!!!!)lol. He's just not dating material right now.

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