LOL...is this for real
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| Sat, 03-25-2006 - 2:35pm |
Goodness, there's this guy I met on eHarmony. We've been talking on the phone and IMing for a couple weeks. Rather, *Ive* been talking. I can't figure out if he is just shy or if he is just trying his step his life up from frequenting the strip clubs. He never talks. It's like pulling teeth just to get him to tell me what genre music he likes. I had to break it down to.."ok tell me what cds are in your cd player". the guy couldnt articluate to save his life. he named some name i hadnt heard before (vanessa maes). I said i havent heard of her at all...what genre is that. he was like "i dont know". I started being smart with him, "oh so it could be country or how about rap, yeah rap." anyway, it turns out it is a classical artist with a new age kind of kick to her.
So, that is just one example. This guy has a hard time just talking or is he just lazy? He hasnt really asked me good pointed questions about me to get to know me. And the questions I ask him, I follow up with answers for myself. Ive had it with this guy. But the thing I dont get is that he calls me EVERYDAY... but why the heck is he calling...he gets me on the phone and doesnt say anything..lol. He has mentioned meeting for coffee several times. if this guy cant even establish a friendly rapport with me, why would i want to go meet him for coffee. The other night i said i had to go...then he said, ahh, no. i said u still want to talk> he said yes. i said "talk theN!" well, then he asked me a question...i said...noooo that is a question designed to get ME to talk... Ive so HAD it with this guy not being able to hold up a conversation. I think the only reason i have stuck around this long is because he actually DOES call me all the time and is attentive about ME...but im not an all-about-me person, i need to hear him talk about him and his life more than "i dont know" (i gotta get to know him..what if he is a lunatic caged up in that head of his..u have to wonder sometimes if quiet ppl are hiding something). I told him today that i dont feel like we are clicking because the rapport isnt quite there. he didnt take it too well. he started scrambling trying to figure out what to talk about. so about 15 minutes later he IMs me with "i like that you like the movie 'life is beautiful'. thats one of the only movies that made me cry".
LOL...that just seemed so contrived at that point, like he's just looking for something to say instead of just clicking naturally with me. it's ridiculous because when i told him about that movie last week, he didnt say anything. LOL...then days later he IMs me that.
Has anyone else come across a guy like this who always calls but just doesnt say anything? lol... it's exhausting being the "entertainer". i flat out told him today that there are no shortcuts to relationships. i think the guy is looking for an easy you know what. WEIRD!!!!

I haven't had that experience, exactly, but I did go on 4 dates earlier this winter with a guy who could not hold up his end of a conversation to save his life. I gave him 4 dates because I thought maybe he was shy or whatever...and he was *such* a great fit on paper (I still read his profile and just shake my head)...but I have to be able to TALK to my partner, ya know? So I gave up after 4 dates.
Honestly, I don't know if I'd even meet this guy...he sounds like he's socially inept and lonely, and that's why he's calling.
Sheri
I'm gonna agree with Sheri on this one. Socially inept and lonely. Although, my last boyfriend (only lasted 8 months) had very few socialization skills. He was a very introverted kind of guy. It drove me NUTS! I'm very outspoken with a very strong personality, and when someone that I'm talking to can't keep his end of the conversation flowing with me, I lose all pateince. The only reason I stayed with him was because he *was* so attentive to me, AT FIRST.
After about 7 months I found out he had told me a whole slew of lies. And then I looked back at the relationship and realized all the lack of talking felt like he was being "sneaky."
So, if you're anything like me, I would take a 'PASS' on this guy, even though he pays you attention. You don't want to settle right?
Imagine being in a relationship with this guy a few months down the road. How will you feel when he still isn't doing much speaking?
M
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i definitely wont be meeting this one. I agree, being able to talk, banter on about many things is so important.
this guy called me, emailed me 3 times, and IMed me 5 times today. It's kind of freaking me out. Of course I am not responding to him. he did this yesterday and i made the mistake of replying to "explain further" why I was no longer interested... that explaining did nothing b/c apparently he is more interested in pursuing me now. scary!
I'm passing on this guy for sure. I actually had to block him today b/c he keeps calling, emailing and IMing me after I told him I am no longer interested.
Your story sounds like the story of my x. same exact quietness and sneakiness...later I also realized many many lies (and basically a double life he was leading). Red flags went up about this guy no doubt from experiences I had in my past.