Long Distance and the Online thing
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Long Distance and the Online thing
| Sun, 11-05-2006 - 2:16pm |
ok...here's another one...
So you meet that 'someone' special...you also live 700 miles away. Not really a barrier for either of you at this point, obviously you will need to not have one of those 'spur of the moment lets meet for coffee' situations.
How has the long distance thing worked for anyone out there? Any horror stories or happily ever after tales?
Any input/perspective/recommendations I wold greatly appreciate it!
cheers
swh

Hi SWH,
I have had a long distance relationship via OLD. It started almost 7 years ago, he in Brooklyn, me in Cincinnati. My ex and I met online and began to communicate via IMs and then eventually phone. We both worked for Delta at the time so we had a lot in common and could talk for hours. Finally, about 4 months after we first began talking we met. It was sparks from the beginning. He came down for a day trip and then it was back and forth trips for each of us. This was easy because we both worked for the airlines and flew for free. Eventually after about a year, the relationship began to wear on me. I was still in college, I didn't know what I wanted to do with my life, etc. So I ended things. I just needed someone who wasn't a 2 hour plane away, plus with our schedules we couldn't get together that often. As much as I loved him, I couldn't handle the distance anymore.
We didn't speak for about a year, then one day I get an IM from him out of the blue, telling me that he loved me, always have, always will and we started things up again. A couple months go by and he came to visit for a weekend. He flew back home the Sunday before 9/11. After that everything changed. He became distant. He lost a lot of people in the terrorist attacks. He couldn't handle being in a relationship during that time, so we split up for the second and final time. We are still friends today, he is now married and has a baby on the way. He still tells me from time to time, if I had moved there or him here we would be married and things would be very different. We were too young to make that big of a decision and leap though. We will always love each other, but I think things turned out for the best. Our lives were meant to stay as they are, in the city that we are. But I will always wonder "What if?".
A LDR will only work if the two people involved both put in 100%. And eventually someone has to uproot and move for it to work. It's going to have it's stressful times, when you need him/her with you and it's just not possible. It's a completely different kind of relationship from the traditional ones. It was tough and I did a lot of crying but I wouldn't change anything. I'm glad I had him in my life as i learned a lot about myself and how to communicate. Would I do it again? Probably not. But never say never.
Stacey
There are actually two people who used to visit this board who started out in an LDR and now they are living in the same area and enjoying a successful relationship. Initially when they met, she was living in Illinois and he in Texas. Eventually yes, she uprooted and it definitely took a leap of faith. But I think both knew that the other was right for them.
So can it happen? Yes. Does someone eventually have to uproot? I believe so. But as I say to all my friends, love doesn't necessarily live within a 10 mile radius. Sometimes that special someone lives across the world. And life is about chances. If you don't take one, are you truly living? The greater the risk, the greater the reward...
Take one day at a time. Meet him as soon as you can and see if what you have online is the same offline. And then go from there. Remember... one step at a time! (And also check out the LDR board here to see what they have to say.)
Hope this helps. Keep us posted!
To original poster:
Gosh, the posters prior to me are amazing. I even learned stuff from them. I agree that it's important to meet early on. My friend lives in Canada, and it's also an IR relationship (BW/WM). We met yesterday after 4 weeks of conversation every day. The connection on the phone and through text, transferred to our first meeting. I was with him for 4.5 hours and the time flew and we both became sad when I had to get back on the bus. I think another poster said, one step at a time. If you are both invested, it can work, and I know I have no problem relocating for love, especially with a great guy. The best part of life is the journey we take through it, so enjoy the moment. Worry later. I am a worrier and he is very laid back, but he's worried too. There will be tears, there will be laughter and there could be pain, but you won't know until you do it. A poem I love has a line that states the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing. I am done with online dating for a while, but it's so much fun. Enjoy the ride girl! Good luck in love