Long phone conversations

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2005
Long phone conversations
9
Thu, 03-23-2006 - 2:29pm

Do long phone conversations mean anything in the scheme of OLD or even any dating? Can we expect good things from someone that we connect with over the telephone?

Just curious what everyone thinks?

F

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-16-2006
Thu, 03-23-2006 - 2:56pm

I try not to talk too long just like I try to not email for weeks on end as I think "building a connection" over phone or email doesn't mean much.

heather 5-18-10
Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 03-23-2006 - 3:03pm

I have a bad track record with men I've had long phone conversations with prior to meeting...that usually turns out to be the highlight of the "relationship" and it never really gets off the ground.

So now I tend to avoid talking on the phone much before meeting (and every time I break that guideline, I'm reminded of why I have it in the first place!!!), and I definitely don't put any faith into a "phone connection".

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-03-2006
Thu, 03-23-2006 - 3:09pm

Great question. I have a first meeting with someone, we started communicating through Eharm last week and moved on to phone conversations on Sunday. We talk every night for at least an hour sometimes two and email continuously througout the day.

My biggest fear is we are going to go out on Saturday and there is going to be nothing there, either that or there are a lot of expectations built up already because we do have such a connection on the phone.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-09-2005
Thu, 03-23-2006 - 3:28pm

I'm not sure what you are asking, but if you are asking just because you may vibe over the phone and talk for 3-5 hours that once you meet; it will be the same chemistry or a potential relationship will develop; sorry, no it means nothing!

Don't you read the posts on this board -- 3 hour phone conversations, 4-5 hour dates only for the guy to ghost!!

Basically, just the gift of gab! (smile)

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-03-2004
Thu, 03-23-2006 - 5:04pm

I agree with the others. I think something like 80% of communication is not what a person says, although some of it is tone of voice. However, I don't like to talk on the phone a lot with someone I haven't met because I really don't know who I'm talking to. Sounds obvious, but I can't determine over the phone what their motives might be for wanting to know more about me, etc. They may be gathering information about me to try to make me believe they're the perfect man for me later, just by mirroring me. I heard a story about a woman who talked for 12 hours straight with a guy she met on eharmoney and many calls after that. They were talking about making a future together. However, when he came to stay at her house on leave from the army, she couldn't get him to leave. He stayed for over a week.

I've decided to keep phone conversations short and sweet, when I decide to get back out there. I don't want to tell anyone over the phone anything about me that I wouldn't mind a complete stranger knowing about me, because that's what they are, complete strangers.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Thu, 03-23-2006 - 7:43pm
I think DEFINATLY a good sign. I personally think is less comfortable than carrying on a conversation in person at 1st - the phone can be hard. If you hit it off there, i bet you will have a TON to talk about irl!
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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-16-2006
Fri, 03-24-2006 - 9:35am
Not in my experience.
heather 5-18-10
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Fri, 03-24-2006 - 11:17am
Hmmmm, interesting.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-17-2003
Fri, 03-24-2006 - 11:27am
Well, I had my first date last night with a guy that I met on match. We had a 2 hour phone conversation that just flowed 2 nights before. That chemistry and connection WAS there when we met last night. That is all I want to say about our first date because I don't want to jinx anything! We are getting together again tonight. So, you just never know...
Stephanie