Looking for an excuse to email him again
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| Mon, 09-18-2006 - 3:09pm |
Ok, Here the deal:
Suppose that you were really attracted to a man you “ found” on a dating site… you’re too shy to meet him because you feel that you are both at very very different points of your lives.
You’ve been emailing for almost 1 year, but lately he has not emailed at all?
I sent him a video message…. Saying “Hello, how have you been? .. Under the pretext that I was testing out an option on the dating site…. But got no reply .
Reading from this board I know how some of you feel about “pen pals” and the fact that a man who is not interested will not reply.
But I feel that the connection “we” have transcends the physical attraction …and is now on a more human level. Knowing more about him & seeing him more as a person & less as a potential mate as been good to lessen my extreme shyness… But, I feel that he may have “given up on me”.
I was just looking for an excuse to make contact with him again and be casual about it
Any suggestions???
Thanks
W
Edited 9/18/2006 8:27 pm ET by funnywinnie10

How do you know there is a physical attraction when you have never met?
It sounds like you've e-mailed him or tried to contact him at least a couple of times since you last heard from him. I don't know if there's really a point in continuing to chase after him. Either he's still interested in writing to you, in which case he'll send you another e-mail when he has time and is in the mood to write. Or he really has lost interest and is purposefully avoiding you, in which case, you're not going to have any better luck getting a response the next time you contact him.
I guess if you really haven't tried to contact him very often since you last heard from him, it's not going to hurt to send him a quick e-mail just saying, "I miss you, and I hope you're okay. I hope to hear back from you soon." At some point though, if he doesn't reply at all after you've tried to get in contact with him two or three times, you'll be better off forgetting about him rather than driving yourself nuts continuing to hope for a response.
If you really think he has given up on you because you refused to meet him, then you may want to think about whether you'd be willing to meet him now. If so, it can't hurt to send a letter mentioning that you've been wondering if he's disappeared because of that, and that you are ready to meet him. If you're still not ready to meet him though, then you can't really blame him for giving up after waiting for almost a year.
Hello « Rose »
Thanks for taking the time to write,
Yes, I have written two classic & casual “hello, how are you … I miss you” emails and got zero reply …. Except for an email containing a smiley and his initials received after sending him a video email.
Your last paragraph made me realize a point :
Even if I explained to him that I was intimidated by the fact that we live different lifestyles… for example I says and looks like he shops in stores I can only dream of dressing in. The first time he invited me to dinner it was in the classy trendy part of town where I most likely only afford tea and dessert. He never acknowledge or said that he understood that my shyness came from the fact that I am intimidated by his very different lifestyles AKA his apparent bigger means versus mine.
Why is that? I ask myself: could he be as uncomfortable as I am about this reality? Maybe I should have followed my first instinct about him: “this man is out of my league” period. Why does this difference bother me so much? To think, some generations ago, a man was expected to take a woman on a date, treat her like a princess. Could my 21 century independent princess pride just be “hurt”, because I know that if we were to “dine his style” he would probably have to pick up the check?
Thanks for leading me to think
w.
Edited 9/28/2006 10:53 am ET by funnywinnie10
Hi Vexer,
Thanks for your input,
Even if we have yet to meet, we shared pictures and video emails outside of the dating site... some of these videos and pics, lead to him and me to make comments on one another appearance and with time, it also lead to admitting to physical attraction.
Thanks again
W.
Well the original issue still stands.