Loser
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| Sat, 04-01-2006 - 11:03pm |
Not sure if anyone read my previous post about the guy I was dating not calling me except to arrange a date. Well, this guy's behavior really confuses the h*ll out of me so if anyone can shed some light, I'd be thankful. We had 3 great dates and then last Monday (this past Monday) he asked me to hang out on that Wednesday because he had plans on Saturday and I had plans on Friday. BTW, he asked me via email, totally all him - every date initiated by him. So I was looking forward to our date and was really starting to like him and it seemed he liked me alot. When I met him that night, he seemed different, friendly but off, usually holds my hand and this time didn't. We went out and had a nice date but something was definitely off. But then he asked me to come back to his place to watch TV and have a drink. Since we had slept together on the last two dates (I know, I know) this wasn't unusual. At his place he acted a bit more normal but still off. So when he started to put the moves on me, I told him that I felt uncomfortable having a s*x outside of a relationship and I would like to start to get to know him better, etc. He said he understood but that it had only been 4 dates and a month. Then he kept up the moves until I gave in. (pathetic I know). Anyway, so I didn't hear from him after that but I wanted to just see him and I asked him to have coffee today (via email) and he said sure, to call him this morning. So I did and he never called back.
Ok. So he obviously did not want to develop a relationship with me and was happy to date me and just get la*d. That's bad enough since he led me on and said all the stuff we would be doing in the spring. But to make a date with me after he had already decided to bail? It's adding insult to injury. I never did anything wrong to this guy. He said how great I was and how happy he was he met me. Why be cruel and say for me to call him and then blow me off and make me sit around all morning and wait? Why twist the knife? I don't get it. How do some people live with themselves? The thing I can't get is everything seemed great Saturday morning. What happened between then and Wednesday night? I know all he did was work. Why did he even ask to see me again so soon?
Thinking back, I see the critical mistakes I made. I responded to his liking me by showing I liked him back and I slept with him. I am now so jaded and so burned. Every guy I have been burned by is just so into me in the beginning and is "just so happy they have met me" and they seem very sincere. Then as soon as I led my guard down and like them too (or love them) it all changes. At least this guy ghosted. Usually the guy sticks around to make my life miserable till I have to break it off.
Has anyone experienced anything like I have with this guy? I feel like writing him an email saying what a collasal s-hole he is but I know its better to keep my dignity.
Ivy

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I'm really sorry it turned out that way.
I agree with the others.
Oh Honey, we have all been burned at some point. Dont blame yourself. Maybe you will need to look at how this affects you & decided that NEXT time, you will hold off on the sex a bit. I am NOT one to talk, lol, about holding off on the sex, but ... if you are hurt by this kind of behavior, maybe its better to wait a while & see if the guy hangs around for something other than sex 1st?
(((hugs)))
Thanks everyone,
I agree with everything everyone said. Its not so much that I have this big broken heart (I didnt shed a tear)as I just feel confused and hurt. I'm not sorry I told him on the last date that I wanted to get to know him better. All I did was ask him to go to the movies with me this coming weekend, not to my sisters wedding or anything. Looking backwards, I guess the fact that he never called me except to ask me out showed that he was not looking to really get to know me as a person. The funny thing is that when I asked friends about it or the few other things I noticed, they all made excuses for him and said it was me perhaps causing the lack of a relationship - that I wasn't showing him I liked him and thats why he wasnt calling him. So thats why I asked him to this movie I had gotten tickets to - to show I did like him back. Ironic, huh? Anyway, I did learn my lesson. its just too bad he didn't feel I was worth a phone call or even email to just say he changed his mind and didn't want a relationship. I guess this happens alot and I just missed it all since I was dating my exH and married for a good part of my life so far (I'm 33). I will definitely hold off on s*x after this experience.
Thanks,
Ivy
First, who cares what HE thinks and whether or not he thought you were worth a phone call or not.
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