Lukewarm First-Meets.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Lukewarm First-Meets.
19
Thu, 01-27-2005 - 2:01pm
If you meet someone and they are generally a nice person... they have no red-flags but there's no 'sparks' on your part either... are you more likely to accept or reject an offer for a date?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2004
Thu, 01-27-2005 - 4:22pm

J & HD,

It's always been my MO to desire a second date if there are no red flags on the initial date. The big deal-killers for me on the first date have been someone that's misrepresented themselves or is obviously not into me at all. Then I just suck it up and wait to hit the door. But from what I've observed from the gals in my local area is that with the exception of one person, they either didn't want to date me; or anyone in general. I'm beginning to think I had my fly open on all of these dates.

TT

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2004
Thu, 01-27-2005 - 4:33pm

This is interesting.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-04-2003
Thu, 01-27-2005 - 5:43pm

But don't you think there's a big difference between experiencing the "ick factor" and having a pleasant time with someone when there aren't any initial sparks?

Yeah, if you get a pit in your stomach, your instincts are telling you somethings not right. But if you don't have any red flags or bad feelings, something could develop and it can take some time to get there.

Maybe I'm just an old broad. I've had my share of sparks and explosions. (Well, the explosions are still pretty fun LOL)

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-03-2004
Thu, 01-27-2005 - 6:03pm

JAHD said nothing about the "ick factor" and if he had my answer would have been different. I believe he was talking about the "so-so factor" -- no red flags, but you don't get an urge to jump in his lap either.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-04-2003
Thu, 01-27-2005 - 6:06pm
I agree - I was specifically addressing CGUN's example of a guy she met once, felt no sparks, but on further reflection felt some anxiety/pit in her stomach when considering a second date.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2004
Thu, 01-27-2005 - 6:18pm
I'm of the same opinion that the big sparks will fade quickly.
Linda
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-02-2004
Thu, 01-27-2005 - 6:53pm
I like to give someone 3 dates to see if anything happens.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2004
Fri, 01-28-2005 - 10:19am

Hey John, long time no see. Figures you'd jump back in with a goody.

I'm with the "give 'em a second date" camp. As long as there isn't the "ick factor" (thanks CGUN) or glaring red flags. Ya never know!

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2004
Fri, 01-28-2005 - 10:48am

Absolutely - I agree.

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