Lunch meeting
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| Mon, 01-08-2007 - 9:47pm |
Hi,
So I met with the guy I've been talking about (the whole "how shall I send the pictures?" saga) and it went well. Not spectacular -- but I think we liked each other.
We have a lot of interests in common, and I am rather awed by some of the things he has done while he is obviously impressed by my position and the kinds of things I get to do at work. We are both night owls.
He paid for my lunch--no fuss about it, he just did. (I ordered first, and he was there with the money before I was, but not at all in an ostentious way. Just like this was the right thing to do.) I like that.
He opened doors for me in the same way--no fanfare, but he was always there at the door to open it for me. That was pleasant too.
But he flirted with me less in person than in e-mail.
And although he asked for a date, it is another lunch date (granted, for this week) instead of a weekend evening date. We'll be having lunch on Friday.
I have a question for you all about who should pay next time. The date was his idea, but he paid this time. I probably make more money than he does, and I don't want to take advantage. On the other hand, I don't want him to take my offer to pay my share as a sign that I am not interested in dating. And it's only lunch, so it's not going to be all that expensive. What do you all advise?
Elsa

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Well - we have had this discussion here more than once & I know at least Sherri & I are in teh same camp of ... "Unless he truly has
Well, we'll see how it goes. As I said in another message, we are at different stages in our lives. So even though we find each other attractive, things may not work out.
It is definitely a relief that we liked each other in person. And I do think it's a good sign he asked to see me again this week, even if it is only for lunch. (He wants it to be a "less-rushed" lunch too, though I am not sure how we'll manage that given the demands of the project he is on.) I would have preferred an evening date, of course, but that may come. And, now that I think of it, from the point of view of money, it makes more sense to go out to lunch if he's going to be paying for the first few dates.
Paying for my lunch is not going to make or break him. He makes a decent salary. I do make somewhat more, but not a huge amount. (The only reason I know this is our different ranks in our different companies.) My main concern about offering to pay is that if things don't work out, I will feel that I have taken advantage. Also, I don't want to give the message that I am one of those "princesses" who think that men owe them everything. But being courted is a nice idea.
;)
Elsa
One thing (among many) that I am finding odd about dating after all these years is that this time around I have money. I am not rich, but I make a decent income, drive a relatively new car, have a nice house, etc. When I dated before I was either a student (most of the time) was in an entry level position. Almost everyone I dated back then had more money than I did unless he was another poor student.
Very strange.
I would offer to pay next time despite him asking you out. The gesture is nice. I don't think it necessarily implies you just want to be friends. Taking turns paying is the
In my life the only girl I dated was my wife and that was in college (I never dated in high school) so take my comments with that grain of salt. After my 19 yr marriage ended in my 40s I did not like the idea of "dating" since I viewed it as "getting to know you" encounters not courtship. I did not see the logic of courting someone I did not know (especially when it came to online dating).
I do see each meeting as a way of creating friendships and if there is a sexual chemistry involved then that is when I start seeing such meetings as "dates."
Mark
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