A match for everyone?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2005
A match for everyone?
43
Tue, 10-11-2005 - 5:11pm

Some friends and I have been discussing our single status, and that of people who seem to be willing to settle just so they aren't alone, or people who are just poison, yet they have an SO, etc.

I'm wondering - does everyone have a "meant to be"? Meaning, that one match out there that's meant for you, and when you are meant to be, you will meet and the timing and everything will be right.

I know there are wonderful examples of "yes", like our own dear gigi and his wife, but is it for EVERYONE?

I think the frustration our particular group is having is that we are all attractive, smart, together people, yet can't seem to meet decent people to date. Yes, we see the train wrecks who manage to find love.


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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-14-2005
Tue, 10-11-2005 - 7:49pm

I'm really not sure. I don't know one person who went through life never being married. Not one. None of my grandmother's friends, none of my mom and dad's friends, nobody. Katharine Hepburn I thought had never been married so she was who I was looking up to. Then I read her biography and she did indeed marry - albeit very young and not for very long.

Is there someone for everyone? Has everyone in our history as a country ever been not married their whole lives? I need someone famous. Was Ben Franklin ever married?

And if there isn't someone for everyone, how does one look forward to the future?

(I didn't answer very well, did I? I only have questions too.)

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-08-2005
Tue, 10-11-2005 - 7:51pm
I don't believe that there's necessarily one certain person for everyone, or that certain people are "meant to be"....however I do believe that people can find someone to be with. I'm pretty certain that a lot of people pair up only to avoid being alone, whether they're with a worthy mate or not. Then there are others who hold out for higher standards. The ones who hold out wait longer, just by virture of the odds... it's harder to find the good ones. I have to agree with all the people who keep saying that OLD is a numbers game...it's all about increasing the odds by sheer numbers.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-19-2004
Tue, 10-11-2005 - 8:05pm
You know me and my aunt never got married so you know someone via 2 degree seperation from Dee. lol
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-14-2005
Tue, 10-11-2005 - 8:11pm

lol

So how old is your aunt? And does she talk about never being married like it's a bad thing?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-28-2005
Tue, 10-11-2005 - 8:14pm
I had a great aunt who never married....I'm 45 and have never married. Hope there is hope for me...lol
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-19-2004
Tue, 10-11-2005 - 8:34pm
She is dead. She died a few years ago at the age of 65.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-03-2004
Tue, 10-11-2005 - 9:49pm
I'm 47 and never married. I would like to one day, just for the heck of it. If it doesn't happen, too bad.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-18-2005
Tue, 10-11-2005 - 11:33pm

There are never any problems; only solutions. That is the key phrase for people who decide to get married should keep in mind. Marriage is a journey and you're taking two people who had lives before they met (no matter how connected you are) who have differences as well as similarities. You go day in and day out living with the same person the rest of your life you're going to change over the years so it's important to keep that in mind and keep those lines of communication OPEN. It takes two to tango so if both partners are able and willing then you have a shot at it. This is after you find he/she to settle down with of course. Everyone has a different wish and want list but as you get older your priorities change of what you find that's important, it's not settling it's you "hopefully finally get it" and what they are all about. Even then there are no guarantee's you know how YOU are and you hope your partner is the same way. I have SEVERAL sets of friends who's parents have been together for nearly 50 years, so I listen and trust me every marriage no matter how great it looks from the outside has problems, not bad necessarily but they all do and there will be bumps along the way so be prepared, know this is what you want and it will be work at times.

Just my two cents,

SP

PS And yes I believe it exists; just takes time for some of us but worth the wait in the end. I've never been married and hope like the rest of us once I do find someone that it will be for the rest of our lives :-). I don't ever want to go into marriage that "divorce is an option" only if he cheats or becomes a serial killer, LOL but other then that we are stuck like glue, ha! You make it work!

 
 
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2005
Tue, 10-11-2005 - 11:43pm

I used to believe and have hope, but I don't anymore. Everyone around me is paired up - even my 95-year-old Grandma. One of my friends has been married 4 times, and yet I'm still waiting.

My parents were divorced. Mom was a wonderful lady and Dad was a deadbeat. Guess who got to remarry and have another kid? While Mom died of cancer after 20 years of loneliness. Life just isn't fair. (Sorry, feeling really down right now.)

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-14-2005
Wed, 10-12-2005 - 5:16am
So what if it doesn't happen for you? Have you considered that? Would you be happy in life if you ended up never getting married?

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