A match for everyone?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2005
A match for everyone?
43
Tue, 10-11-2005 - 5:11pm

Some friends and I have been discussing our single status, and that of people who seem to be willing to settle just so they aren't alone, or people who are just poison, yet they have an SO, etc.

I'm wondering - does everyone have a "meant to be"? Meaning, that one match out there that's meant for you, and when you are meant to be, you will meet and the timing and everything will be right.

I know there are wonderful examples of "yes", like our own dear gigi and his wife, but is it for EVERYONE?

I think the frustration our particular group is having is that we are all attractive, smart, together people, yet can't seem to meet decent people to date. Yes, we see the train wrecks who manage to find love.


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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-20-2001
Fri, 10-14-2005 - 10:28am
That is so true. I've talked several times about the first online guy I met--the one I didn't hear back from and assumed he just wasn't interested. I had toyed with the idea of writing him nasty e-mails, nasty instant messages and the whole bit. I assumed he had removed me from his messenger list. He didn't remove me and now we're talking again. I'm not sure that this will ever be a real romance, but it might be a good friendship. I think there was some miscommunication/misunderstandings on my part (and on his). His hectic job/lifestyle is 90% of the problem, but I assumed no more contact to mean he just didn't like me. Guess that was not the case, so it pays to not "assume" all the time. I have a habit of doing that with men.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-09-2005
Fri, 10-14-2005 - 6:15pm

Mitsy...when it comes to online dating, just because a man makes initial contact with you and you chat a few times, doesn't mean that he is only making contact with "you!" I'm glad you "toyed" with the idea of sending nastygrams, because if you did he probably would have thought you had issues. The assumption I would have made with this guy (like so many guys I've met that have ghosted) was "he met someone else".

FYI, you will see that a lot of guys may come back around after "ghosting" and throw out an email or an IM, few chats and then "ghost" again! You can make excuses for him, but unless his 90% hectic job/lifestyle has not changed, then I question why you would even want to be bothered as a friend or even in a romance.

Stack em up!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-20-2001
Sat, 10-15-2005 - 12:24am
I don't know that there will be a romance--perhaps friendship only, but then again you are making some assumptions as well. Some of his job circumstances have changed since we first talked. You never know how things will turn out. Take it from someone who is 40+. You have to learn what bridges to burn and what ones not to, and that's the best advice I can give you.


Edited 10/15/2005 12:33 am ET by mitsy2

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