LACK of Privacy Policy

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-05-2003 LACK of Privacy Policy
Fri, 08-15-2003 - 9:18am
Hi Everyone-

I want to share my personal experience with I have a profile on it, which I paid for. I thought my identity was secure until I revealed it. My ad was very generic, did not mention anything specific about me, i.e. my occupation, which animals I liked,

etc. My ex-boyfriend stated to me he knew I had an ad on there, which I denied. He then stated he had called and knew it was in place for months and I had paid for it. He is a government law official. I denied everything. But of course this now is a problem for me.

Anyway, I called and their customer service reps stated they "NEVER" give out info, and "ALWAYS" make sure they know whom they are speaking with. I spoke to several reps & supervisors. One stated if a female voice calls in with a user name and can answer basic identification questions- birthdate, email address, they will speak to her about the account. Therefore it was feasible he could have had a female call, and I guess I could have a male call to determine if he is on. This is not safe. Let's face it, if one dates someone for awhile, one usually knows their birthdate & email address.

I have already talked to and emailed several people in their "fraud & abuse" department.

I have had not saitisfaction. They deny everything. I very nicely stated there is nothing such as "NEVER and "ALWAYS".

I just wanted everyone to know who is on there, what may occur. Even if you hide your profile, once you meet someone, they may be able to call in & get your info, or at least confirm some type of info about you.

I have just had a bad experience as now it is turning into stalking, harassment, etc. And I was dating this guy for 1 1/2 years.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2003
Fri, 08-15-2003 - 10:46am
Hey girl, I am sorry that happened. WOW! It seems to me that because your EX is a governement official, he can get away with things like this. I mean, if someone from the governement called and needed info about an ad, a person, they may have given it to him for varoius reasons. You cannot be totally upset with, since your EX lied and used his authority to get this info. I am not defending either party, just saying the Ex is the problem. You should talk to someone over him and get him into trouble for harassing you and things like that. That is ridiculous. WHy in the world does it matter that you have ad anyways, he is not your man anymore. I would have said, yes I do. What is it to you? Goodluck with this and thank you so much for sharing.


iVillage Member
Registered: 04-05-2003
Fri, 08-15-2003 - 3:25pm
Hi Gail!

Thanks for the reply. I just wanted to share that...Just remember I could call and state I am with whatever agency. Yes he did abuse his power, which infuriates me. However, they cannot give out any info unles there is a subpeona or warrent for my arrest--there are neither. stated they need documentation from someone to give out such info to a law enforcement agency.

I just wanted everyone to know ,that if someone wanted to confrim info, , it is not that difficult. Especially if the same sex person calls.

WHat do you think I should do?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2003
Fri, 08-15-2003 - 3:39pm
Well, the first thing you should do is file a freakin restraining order against this EX. That is number uno! Next, you have emailed and spoken to several people at and you should be documenting this all if it comes up again. Next, you need to get the exact details of what this Ex knows. Then, change your profile alittle and see if he calls you about it again. This is where you catch him and just be as nice as pumpkin pie, while you ask how he knows and such and do not hide it and see if he tells you anything about how he found out. Then, as he tells you and whatever he tells, have him recorded this whole time. SO, you can file a complaint against him in his department. He should not abuse his power, because this is how and why some distrust the government so much. He should not be in his position if he is going to abuse it and this should be brought to someone of higher rank's attention immediately. You should be careful, but be very thorough with your documentation and be aware of your surroundings at all times.

So, let me know how it works out. Continue to contact and try and find out if someone did access your info and go to the top dogs for this and if they can find out if it did happen, who it was and there is your proof. If will allow you the information.


iVillage Member
Registered: 04-05-2003
Sat, 08-16-2003 - 8:07am
Thanks Gail-

You are correct, he should not be allowed to abuse his power. Unfortunately, the world works differently. I have been on the Domestic abuse boards & they are helping me with the stalking, harrassment, constant cell calls situation.

If it continues, I am contacting a superior...they domestic abuse CLs think he may be too violent for a PFA, and will disregard it anyway.

Enough of that~WHat do you look out for on the ads? Any hints or tips?