Maybe a relationsip really isn't

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-27-2005
Maybe a relationsip really isn't
11
Sat, 07-02-2005 - 11:12am

worth it.

Recent events have made me think really hard about whether or not I think a relationship is worth it. I enjoy my freedom, I enjoy doing what I want when I want to, I am starting to seriously think that I want a relationship because it is what I *should* want. Ever since I started dating when I was younger I have always been in a LTR, now that I have been single for a year and a half I think maybe I might not want a serious relationship anymore. Do you think that wanting an LTR is hardwired in us and maybe that is why we are looking for one? Can you guys tell me why you want to be in a serious committed relationship?

We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used when we created them.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-27-2005
Wed, 07-06-2005 - 2:49pm

Albert Einstein said that "Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results."

That is exactly how I feel about dating right now. I feel like im doing the same thing over and over again and the only way to get out of that pattern is to change ME. I have been out there dating, but guy after guy has been a total disappointment. I am tired of looking for something serious when it does not seem like its going to happen, if I change the rules and start dating like they do, I find that I don't care as much if it works out because there will always be another (maybe better) guy around the bend. When I was 21, that is exactly how I dated and I had guys chasing me down for a relationship, but I was not interested.

I have been in LTRs since the first guy I ever dated, except for two year space of time in which I embraced all the good things that being single had to offer. I began to cherish being alone and having options, I liked being able to talk to any guy that peaked my interest and doing whatever I wanted to do. Finding myself single again 5 years later, I think that was the point in my life where I was the happiest. I find that now the "game" is too tiring. I am exhausted by the wishy washiness and the deception, it seems like every guy has his own host of riddles I have to decipher. I know we always talk about having "no expectations" when we meet a new guy, but we all have them, even if they are subconcious. If I really start having "no expectations" I think I will start dating differently.

I think im going to read that book "How to date like a Man" again, and take notes.

We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used when we created them.

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