Meet and Greet Issues

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-09-2005
Meet and Greet Issues
6
Mon, 02-27-2006 - 3:01pm

I have been on several meet and greets in the past few weeks and quite a few of them have gone for about 4 hours. I had a Meet and Greet last Thursday which began at 7:00 pm (I arrived 20 mins. late -- he was there) and we left at 11:45 pm. I had one drink and he was a big guy and he ordered like (3) appetizers. He started w/wings and then he wanted cheese stix and then when I thought he was done he ordered stuffed mushrooms! Irregardless of his appetite, I must admit I spent quite a bit of time thinking "how can I end this meet and greet?" I did enjoy his conversation, but I really didn't plan on hanging out till 11:45 pm. Well the date ends (he ends it by stating "well I'm stuffed and ready to go") and he states he had a good time and would like to see me again! He, of course, ghosted!! (WTF?)

Now, I'm on a mission to keep Meet and Greets to an hour! I may consider "Drive-bys" (remember my other post - smile) Heck if he knew he had NO intention of ever seeing me again or calling why hang out with someone for 4+ hours?? My gfs state "well he probably just wanted to have a date!" Cool, but it really wasn't a date! Since he kept ordering food, I guess I had to sit there and watch him eat.

I'm cool w/his ghosting, but in the future I'm not trying to hang out for 4+ hours on a meet and greet. I have a Meet and Greet scheduled for tomorrow and once you are engaged in conversations it just doesn't seem like there is a nice point where you can say "well I've got to go" without sounding rude or bluntly breaking conversation. Considering most of the men I've met have ghosted, I guess me sounding rude isn't too bad.

Any ideas on how to keep "meet and greets" under an hour regardless if you are enjoying his company??

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 02-27-2006 - 4:03pm

Yes...coffee at Starbucks mid- to late afternoon on Sat or Sun works great. If you are having fun, you can hang out for a couple hours or even extend it to dinner. If you're not, "oh, look at the time, I'm meeting a friend, I've got to go."

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2002
Mon, 02-27-2006 - 4:14pm
I agree with this in concept, but at times, it's really hard to do! I did find the time I met a guy for drinks at 4 in the afternoon (his insistance), because of the timing, it was easy to say, "I'm meeting some friends for dinner so I better run." Of course it was a lie - I wound up going to Target then home! :-) But the other night with Mr. Handsy (he wasn't handsy then), it was hard to come up with an excuse and I was enjoying myself enough that it was late before I knew it. Yesterday was another story though!

131.gif image by y_baros th5K.gif image by jade_simo

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-09-2005
Mon, 02-27-2006 - 4:19pm
So I guess I should just look at a "Meet and Greet" as for the day, the moment? I mean I necessarily don't mind hanging a few hours more if I'm really interested, but since most of the guys I've recently spent like 4 hours with have ALL ghosted, I'm beginning to think if I should be spending all this time with them. I mean 1 hour is one thing, but 4-5 hours; and then he GHOSTS -- what's the point!!
Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 02-27-2006 - 4:40pm

I would agree...I don't like having my time wasted, so I'd rather err on the side of cutting a meet short, even if I like the guy. I usually don't spend more than 2 hours, max, on a 1st meet, even with someone I like. The recent CL meet was an exception...our first meet lasted about 4.5 hours because we had dinner and then went to hear some music. But that whole thing was very much an exception, anyway (putting an ad up to meet someone to hang out with that night with no expectations beyond that).

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-16-2006
Mon, 02-27-2006 - 6:37pm
Aren't you ladies afraid one of these dudes will follow you home? I have had that experience more than once and I was married and going home from the library or the store.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-11-2005
Mon, 02-27-2006 - 9:21pm
Hi,
I usually tell someone (like my brother or a friend)...If you haven't heard from me by ____1 hour after scheduled date time, please call my cell phone. They know I am meeting someone so they will go along with me if I make up something as needed. I also make a commitment to my kids for what time I'll be home. They might not know that I am meeting someone, but they will call around the time I should get home.
E