Member of the week!

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2003
Member of the week!
21
Mon, 06-30-2003 - 3:58pm
Well, I noticed alot of other boards doing this and wondered if any of you might want to do it. I am sure you are familiar with it already, but here is a recap. I will start off this week being the "member of the week" and I will tell you all about me, and if there is anything in the world you want to know, this week will be the time to ask. Then, starting next week I will email someone who wants to be the next member of the week. Now, I will ask, not tell you. lol So, dont worry Nicole if you dont want to do it. giggles. im kidding. It is really fun and the other boards have had alot of success with it!

So, alittle about me: I am 27, I have two little boys,( Devin is 5 and Nathan is 2) I am divorced, and I am dating someone on line/LDR. I met Mark in Feburary and he will be visiting for the first time in two weeks, maybe three depending on how well the visa process goes. I just moved into my own place and I am as poor as they come now! lol I am so poor, I cannot even pay attention. lol Ok, that is so not funny. Any donations can be made if you really feel sorry for me at: P.O. BOX Moma Gail, BFE,TN, 37000 (giggles) Now that was funny! lol No, im sorry. I am in pain from moving, so I am in a silly mood.

Ok, now if there is anyone this week that wants to know anything about me, ask away. Now, if no one wants to know anything at all, you still have all week to think about it. lol I will not be offended if you dont want to know anything, because you all might already know plenty about me since I post so much. lol Ok, so I am ready....hit me with any crazy question you want! NOw, remember if you decide to be a member of the week, pay back is hell! GIGGLES

Gail

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Avatar for born2luv
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 06-30-2003 - 4:30pm
OK, I'll ask. How old were you when you married?

How long were you married?

Are your boys excited about Mark's coming?

What is your biggest concern about Mark being here?

~*~ Catherine

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2003
Mon, 06-30-2003 - 4:47pm
Alright Miss Catherine. (smiles) Good questions!

How old were you when you married?

***I was 21. TOO DAMN YOUNG!! lol I was pregnant and got married in my maternity outfit. lol Great wedding day, eh? lol

How long were you married?

***I was married in March 1997, so I just got the damn divorce finalized in June of this year, 2003. SO, lets see...that is 6 years and 3 months! TOO DAMN LONG! lol

Are your boys excited about Mark's coming?

***Yes, and no. They are as excited as kids will be about a new visitor. I have told my 5 year old about how we will all go swimming, and how mark is bringing him some new video games, and how he is going to do this and that with them. My 2 year doesnt know anything except "pop tarts"! lol

What is your biggest concern about Mark being here?

*** You may have guessed it. The concern is with my two sons. I just hope they adjust to him being with us and my 5 year doesnt regress with the relatiponship they may build. I dont want mark to interfere with my boys and their dad. He has spoken to my Ex over the phone, so I think it is going to be fine with him, but with my two boys, I worry so much. I just want it to all go smoothly. I love my boys and will always put them first, and I dont want to have to choose. Ever. I will always choose my kids over any man. No matter how much I love Mark, if it were to be too much on my boys with his visit, I would ask him to go. WHEW! Girl, these are some serious questions. lol

Ok, hope I answered all your questions to the best of my ability!! Thanks for the great questions!!

Gail (NEXT!)

Avatar for crystalgirl32
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 06-30-2003 - 8:58pm
Hi Gail,

So I am assuming Mark hasn't met your boys before,right?How are you going to handle sleeping arangements?Is he going to sleep with you?How do you think the boys will handle having him around?Just some of the things I had to think about before John came to florida,we met in ct so he never met my son before.I had him stay in a hotel the first time so my son would be comfortable and didn't have this stranger to adjust right away to.So what are you guys gonna do?Sorry if this is too personal,Crystal

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-17-2003
Tue, 07-01-2003 - 2:44am
Ok Gail here are my few questions, :

1. What is your work? and r u happy with it?

2. What do u enjoy most doin? shopping?

3. What are your dreams for Devin and NAthan?

4. What do you expect from Mark's coming?

5. What makes u sad or happy?

6. How do u cope from all this online thing?

7. And what do u pray to God most of all?


I still have more questions in my mind i will ask it next time...~~~jen :)

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2003
Tue, 07-01-2003 - 9:14am
NO Crystal, nothing too personal for me. My life is an open book. That is why i chose to be member of the week, just so you know if you do it. lol WEll, if there is anything I do not want to answer, I will say so. Anywho. From what you asked.

No, Mark and I have never met, and nor has he met my boys. Now we have all spoken on line, over the webcam and such and my boys have seen him on the cam. So, it is sort of like we all met. lol He even met my mother, father, and sister over the cam. It was strange, but under the circumstances, it had to be the only way to see him. So, what will happen exactly, from what I can figure out....is when Mark comes, my Ex(their dad) will have the boys that weekend, or if he cannot, my mother is prepared to take the boys. SO, Mark and I will get to spend some time together, one on one before he officially meets my two sons and family. So, for the first few days, I plan to get comfy with him and then and only then if I feel things are going well, he will meet everyone else. Then, if I think he should stay with us and my boys seem okay with it, then he will sleep with me, or on the sofa. Which ever we feel is best for the boys right away. If things do not go well, and the boys are upset or seem to not handle it well, then yes...I will tell Mark to go to a hotel. I am very protective over my boys and if I feel they are not adjusting well, then Mark will not stay with me, nor will he ever stay at my home. Now, this is worst case scenerio. The boys seem excited about Mark coming, so once he is here, we will see how things go and then do what is best for the boys. The boys are first and foremost in my life, and I expect them to be the same for any man in my life. If not, then I will not be with that man. Mark knows this all and is coming over with full awareness of my situation. He is prepared to deal with whatever may come with my boys, my family, my ex, me. Everything. I have not held back in any way with him and he knows the whole situation and how it will be. He knows where I stand on all issues. So, in saying that...I really think things are going to be positive and it will work out. Being able to talk to Mark on line with the cam has helped me and my boys. So, again, they seem excited. So, we shall see. Thanks for asking. It is rather important to me to make sure my kids are safe and happy. SO, thats it. Hope I didnt ramble too much. lol

Gail

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2003
Tue, 07-01-2003 - 9:35am
Wow! To be sick, you still think fast. lots of q's for me. Goodie! lol

1. What is your work? and r u happy with it?

*** I am a receptionist. I answer phones, do some filing, do some other office things, type memos and such, blah blah. Well, I suppose my title would be Administrative Assistant, but I just think it is easier to use receptionist. Thus, I have time be on line all day. lol I am happy with it. There are times when people get on my nerves, and the phone drives me insane, but it is all mind over matter. It is a job and it pays the bills. So, I know I will not do it forever. If I can ever get my writing going, I will try and publish some work and live off that. lol Dream on? lol Who knows! lol

2. What do u enjoy most doin? shopping?

*** No, I never have money to do that. I dont mind shopping, but much rather like writing in my free time. Doing yoga as well. I enjoy staying at home or just entertaining company. Going out in public is not my thing really. I do it, since I have to buy food and stuff, but not shopping too often really.

3. What are your dreams for Devin and Nathan?

***AWWW! Well, so many dreams. I wish they would grow to be strong, handsome, respectful young men and do something great with their lives. I just really want them to both be happy, no matter what they do. I want them to be kind souls to all. I just want nice young men, no matter the outcome of their lives. I dont put pressure on them to do too much with their life. I want them to have the freedom to make their own choices and I think they can learn so much more from free will than anything else in this world.

4. What do you expect from Mark's coming?

***I expect to meet the man I have waited for my whole life. I feel Mark and I were made for one another. WE mesh. He is the one I believe in my heart, that I will spend the rest of my life with. He understands me like no one else ever has. I value that more than anything else in my life. To be understood as well as loved. He gives me both.

5. What makes you sad or happy?

***Sadness comes through my life like the weather. Here one day, gone the next. I cannot tell you what makes me sad. I know I get upset when I do not have money to do things for my kids or take them places. That does make me sad. What makes me happy is sticky kisses from my boys, or big hugs at night when I get home from work. Or, when my 2 year old tries to sing with me at night when they are going to bed. I sing "You are my sunshine" to them to help them go to sleep and Nathan tries to sing it with me. It is so stinkin cute! Love them so much. That makes me happy. Oh, and new socks make me really happy too! lol

6. How do you cope from all this online thing?

***Well, I spend most of my time on line during the day at work, not at night and not on the weekends really. Those are my times to do for my boys or myself. So, I take breaks when I need to. I work well under stress, so it seems natural to me really. I have been on line now for close to three years non-stop, so it is like breathing for me. I enjoy it quite a bit! Love you ladies too!! You all make it fun.

7.And what do you pray to God most of all?

***Well, lately I have prayed to Buddha and not so much prayed, but given thanks for all I have been blessed with. I pray mostly for the safety of my boys. I never ask for anything really, since I have so much to be grateful for. I want for nothing, I pray for my boys constantly. Just love em.



WHEW! lol DID that do it? lol Ask away. My life is your life this week. lol

Gail

Avatar for kelstev
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 07-01-2003 - 11:27am
Hi Gail...just a couple of questions. You mentioned you lived with your father but I don't think I've read anything about your mother in your posts. So I'm assuming that she is not in your life or lives far from you...or possibly died. You said your father was in his 50's I believe? So, does he date? If so, was it uncomfortable to be in his house if he brought a woman home?

Do you have any brothers or sisters?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2003
Tue, 07-01-2003 - 11:53am
Well, yes Kelly I did live with my father. I moved into his home with my two kids after I left my Ex and we got a divorce. So, I moved in March of last year, and I just got my own place this week. I moved in Saturday. I dont know why I have not mentioned my mother, she is very much alive and helps me all the time with my boys. She has been a god sent for me. She watches my boys for me when their father is being a big fat loser. lol I shouldnt say that. Sorry. lol She lives in the same town as me and my father. We all live about 15 minutes from each other. The funny thing is my parents are divorced themselves, but they live in the same town. lol I get divorced and moved back near them both. It helps to have my family so close since I am a single mother now. That was the one smart thing I did. My boys love their grandparents too. Especially my mother. So, my mother is re-married and my step dad is cool. So, we are just all one big happy family. Oh, and my sister lives with my mother. She is 25. She is the smart one I suppose. Never been married. So, I just dont talk about my family much I guess since I always have so much going on in my own life. lol Thanks for asking about the fam.

Gail

P.S. Oh, and yes my dad is like 57 or so and he has been married three times. The first wife, he has two boys that are like 30 now and they live in Kentucky. The 2nd wife was my mother and I have a sister. Then, his third wife had two girls already, they are grown, so they never had kids. Then, she left him and now he lives alone. He doesnt date, since he says he doesnt have time. I am working on that one. lol I told him he needs to get out more so he can meet someone. He says he does want someone in his life, but he doesnt know if he will ever get married again. He is older now.lol So, who knows!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 07-01-2003 - 3:58pm
OK, you may have already said these elsewhere, but I missed it.

You met Mark online, but how? Was it a chatroom, dating service, or somewhere else? If it wasn't a dating service, were you looking for a relationship, or just looking to talk with someone? And finally, is he the guy you always imagined yourself with, or someone very different?

-Debbie

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2003
Tue, 07-01-2003 - 4:26pm
Debbie, I did meet Mark on line. It was in a chat room. We were on yahoo and it was just one Sunday night for me I was sitting around waiting on my boys to get back from their dad's and I was bored. So, I went into this 30 something room, even though I am 27, I still tend to get along better with people older than me. Not important. Anywho. SO, IM in this room and not really chatting myself just watching the room say some pretty nasty stuff. Im about to log off when someone says "hello". Well, to tell you the truth he was not the first hello I got that evening. So, I played along for a minute and returned the greeting, awaitng the next question of "ASL?" lol No, he didnt ask that. We actually started to comment on how immature the room was and why we both had decided to come to that room. SO, we talked a while and decided to add one another to messenger and talk more privately away from the room. So, we logged out and talked for a few hours on line. The very next day I talked on line with him at work, and he asked if I would mind letting him call me sometime. I told him I wanted to wait and he agreed it was only when I was ready to give out my #. SO, a few days went by and I was like, "Wanna call me?" He called within minutes and we talked for three hours. In those three hours, we decided there was a real connection between us. We had similar ideas about life in general and had shared some of the same life experiences. (marriage, kids, etc.) So, we decided we wanted to talk again. Being that he is in Scotland and I am in Tennessee(the states), it is not like we could set a meeting anytime soon over an ocean! lol SO, we talked on the phone daily from then on. WE met in Feburary and have talked ever since. We saw each other on our web cams the first night as well, and often there after. So....whew! lol Is that enough, or do you want to know more? lol I got all you want baby! lol NO, it is nice to finally talk with someone like Mark, that I can connect with and the understands me. I never thought I would be with someone from South Africa, but here I am. I never really thought about meeting anyone at the time. I have been happily single for some time now. So, it was a definite surprise when I decided I was really in love with this man. I am in love with his spirit as well as his soul. I know what he looks like, and although I think he is totally hot...lol, our relationship has been built on nothing but a soulful, connection. That comforts me more than anything in this world. So, we have something special and knowing how honest he has been with me from the day we met up on line, has made a world of difference for me. This man is coming all the way over here for me, and all he has gone through to do it, is amazing to me. I keep telling him I dont know what he sees in me, so worth coming all this way for. He says,"hush, woman! I am in love with you!" Ok, well still... its just too good to be true. I never thought I would find the man of my dreams on line. Honestly. I thought I would meet men, yeh...but not find one to really be with. SO, it is still a saga to be unfolded. SO, wish me luck, cause in two weeks the man is coming for his first visit and we can look into each other's eyes and confirm what we already know. I am freaking scared out of my mind, but rather calm. lol lol

Thanks for asking, hope I didnt ramble too much. Wait, oh goodness. I did. sorry. lol

Gail :)

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