Men With Kids
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| Mon, 03-27-2006 - 9:57am |
I have a question if I over reacted a bit- there was a guy on OLD, who wrote me- claiming to be 37 (he looked older than 37 to me)- divorced with two kids.
I wrote back that "thanks but I am looking for someone who doesn't have children."
Anyways, he wrote back that "I should consider a guy like him since he's a good catch because he's already a Dad and had found someone once. Since he wants more kids, he's looking for women who don't have children- and I should consider him because of that."
I found it annoying- and almost insulting- more because I just can't believe that men can consider having two (or more kids) as such a positive- for a reason to go out with them! Its a big responsibility- and not easy to handle- And that it sounds like this guy doesn't want to have to deal with someone else's kids- yet he expects someone to accept his own.
I just think that there are guidelines (like the issue with age, race, etc.) - that are deal breakers. I really don't want to date someone at this age with children (maybe one child, but not two)- but for him to think he's a better catch than someone without children? That makes someone a better Dad because they've tried it already?
To me, no means no and not maybe- am I getting too annoyed here?

Well, I guess it depends on what you're looking for.
That's just dumb: "he's a good catch because he's already a Dad and had found someone once."
Oh, I've been there too.
You make specific mention of no kids in your ad and proceed to receive several responses from Daddies. It's a real pet peeve of mine too. Do they bother to consider, perhaps, that I'm not seeking a ready-made family? that I lack the desire to be a parent?
Worse yet are the ones who have actually asked "Won't you search your heart and embrace the idea of loving my child". Good grief. Why on earth did you pick me? We so aren't made for each other.
-75 points for not following directions.
I don't think you were wrong, one of my dealbreakers is kids, as much as I love them, I'm not ready for my own, let alone someone else's...I've compromised on other things but that's one thing I will not budge on. Dating is tough enough with just 2 people, but that's just my opinion and how I feel. I have friends who have dated guys with kids, and some friends that have children that are dating, and it's tough!
Stick to what you want though! (Or in this case, don't want).