Men with NO Time to Date
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| Mon, 01-09-2006 - 11:33am |
Twice now I've talked to (both online and on the phone) with men who were supposedly interested in meeting me. But this last possible encounter sort of irked me to wonder what the deal is.
For starters, I work two jobs; have for many years and I don't anticipate quitting my second job anytime soon. However, I have made it clear that I would cut back my work hours in order to meet and date someone who had mutual interest. As a general rule, I also have set time off hours and never work Sundays. I also have vacation time I can use as well. It's not like I work 24-7. Financially, I don't have the luxury of making it with only one job. Many people are in the same situation as me. And while it might make it a bit harder to date someone, I am willing to make compromises in order to meet and get to know someone.
My latest online guy drives cross country with a trucking line. He isn't the main driver, but an "escort" driver. When we first talked, he said that although he is gone a lot, that he did have some time at home and knew several days in advance of his trips. He also said he planned to not be gone as much this year as he had last year--that he didn't have to take every job that came along. Sounds workable? Well, after the second or third conversation, I find out that he is sometimes only given 24 hours notice (or less). Three different times now we had "tentative" meets set up only to be cancelled due to his work.
I have no idea if we'd even have "chemistry" once we did meet. However, I'm finding it very odd that I continue to run into men with strange jobs and even stranger hours. Why would someone put their profile on a dating site when they have so little time to date or even meet someone?
Edited 1/9/2006 11:40 am ET by mitsy2

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I work for an airline so I know exactly what you're talking about. I'm always running into men who couldn't keep a date to save their lives. Why they bother asking me out, I'm not sure. Honestly, I think they really intend on making time, but it just doesn't work that way. For pilots, work is the most important thing in the world, and they won't give it up for anyone. They THINK they can, but when it comes down to it, they can't.
Anyway, it just proves that some men really ARE too busy.
I'm a member of the "He's Just Not That Into You" club on this one...
People make time for what is important to them. I don't want to sound harsh, but if they really like you and want to meet you, they will make time. My brother is a surgeon; a pediatric oncologist with four kids. He has never missed ONE of their ball games.
Nobody is too busy. I've used that "too busy" excuse when in my heart I really didn't want to go on the meet, but didn't want to completely blow someone off... yet.
The other take might be that the escort driver is just hoping to squeeze in a booty call in his off hours.
Well, I got an instant message from "trucker guy" that said he was still not home and was beginning to think that this might not work due to his schedule and distance between us. I did have my reservations about that when we first talked, but it was HE who seemed to play down that fact. He said he just could not handle it right now. So, I'm not taking this one as personally as some of the rest since we had not ever met. I just think he cannot handle being on the road so much and trying to develop a relationship with anyone.
My only gripe about this is that he should never have even put a profile on a dating site if this was the case. It wouldn't matter who the woman was, if he is on the road 90% of the time and apparently on call for those trips, he has nothing he can count on as "free time".
I was nice in my response though and told him to let me know when and if he ever did have time--that I would still like to meet him. I left it open-ended, but I won't be waiting around for this one.
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