met up with him
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| Sat, 12-03-2005 - 10:39pm |
I went for coffee with him. Everything went smoothly and he seems a nice guy. I don't feel any chemistry there, although we could get along nicely as just friends. Not sure if he's into me or not and I don't really care!
I've never been on a date- except the ones when I was a teenager where the guy didn't pay for me. Well, it was only a cup of coffee and he isn't broke I know (he has a nice job in a bank!)... it was only a few dollars and he told me to keep the change... Does that say something about him? Even the guy I dated before (didn't meet online) who was a struggling student pay for my drink. Maybe I'm just spoiled by my previous dates... this guy certainly didn't earn points with me! Am I being harsh? Should he pay?
In the meantime, I'm emailing this other guy who doesn't like pets, lol. Then there's the solitictor who says he is sick and will call me when he is better... I'm thinking yeah yeah, like he will... so let's see. I kind of like the solitictor... by his pick and his emails... but he's the one who had his phone switched off the time when I said I would give him a call!

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You know vex, this is SOOOOO true. A guy I'm talking to just said that to me. He told me to call him and I said he could call me, that I was old-fashioned about it. He said ok and then told me he didn't want to push or come on too strong. I think in many cases they do wonder what we want/look for...
I usually pay for myself. I just don't like to have a sense of indebtedness so early on, so when I go for my wallet it's because I fully intend to pay for myself. On some occasions, the guy would wave me off, say don't be ridiculous, and insist on paying for me. I don't like to fight over this, so if he's this insistent, I'll let him pay.
The guy paying doesn't necessarily get in a better position with me, especially on a first date. If the guy is condescending and macho about paying, I don't like that. On the other hand, I went out with a guy who studied the bill and made sure it was fair down to the penny and that I paid my fair share and that really turned me off.
A lot of it just depends on how it all goes down and that the negotiation is done in a natural, comfortable way in which the parties decide on the bill in a spirit of either equality or generosity, and not in a spirit of obligation or onerousness.
Not very helpful, I know. It's a tough area.
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