Misrepresentation and other gripes

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-06-2004
Misrepresentation and other gripes
11
Thu, 05-28-2009 - 11:30am

I know we have all touched on these issues

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-18-2006
Thu, 05-28-2009 - 12:43pm

I completely side with you on your issues. I had to go through a LOT of bad ones, to get to the right one. The only thing I can say to that is to continue your search, but stick to your values and what you want out of man (i.e. no kids, under 40, etc).

You may need to take a break from things for a while and jump back in when you are ready. You will be surprised that when you are ready to stop and are done with online dating, that you will find a keeper. I was totally done with online dating after being on and off it for 2 years, and the last guy I met online was my keeper.

It's the whole quote of "things happen when you aren't looking" idea.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-06-2004
Thu, 05-28-2009 - 12:57pm
Thanks for the encouragement.
Avatar for floridagirl52
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-2006
Thu, 05-28-2009 - 8:10pm

I hear ya.

Like you, I don't meet many men IRL (God knows I try) and it just seems like OLD is the only viable option, as frustrating as it is. My problem is that I don't see all that many that I'm even a little interested in, so I don't tend to even meet that many. Sigh. This is my third stint (going on 1.5 years) and I was on twice before, six months and four months. But this time I've just decided that I'm not giving up, period. As awful as it is sometimes, I'm just not giving up. Now, I might take a break at some point.

And if I read one more profile that says, "I'm just an easy-going guy who loves life and is comfortable in a tux or jeans..." I'm going to puke. Also, can we ban the word "cuddle" from men's profiles? Oh, and can we also ban shirtless photos?

OK, I feel better now.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-09-2008
Thu, 05-28-2009 - 8:27pm

A few notes on what are probably minor points:


"it seems to me that some people are way too wrapped up in their kids and don't make time for dating, or, as I suspect, they are just not that into me and use the kids as an excuse.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-06-2004
Thu, 05-28-2009 - 9:29pm

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-27-2001
Sat, 05-30-2009 - 1:39pm

Interesting thread, quite a few issues here, too. I'm with you Muire. As a kid, I could always amuse myself and as an adult, I'm happy in my own company when alone. Also, I'm a teacher and deal with kids from about 2-8th grade. Interesting to observe who can work independently and who can't and I think some of that goes to how kids are treated at home. Expectations and all.

As for the age thing and lying about it...well, doesn't it come out in the meet? I mean, he's standing there, looking older than his picture, so where can he hide this fact? Is that what you meant or does it come out in the phone convo?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-06-2004
Sat, 05-30-2009 - 8:24pm

Hi Petulia,


iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2008
Sun, 05-31-2009 - 12:59am
Ugh I know the frustration you feel. The first guy I ever met offline had sent me lots of pics of them so I thought I knew exactly what to expect, however when I meet him it's obvious that his pictures were all from 5+ years ago. The pictures portrayed a young active looking man, and the guy I met up with was 100+ lbs overweight, wore suspenders with jeans and had thick coke bottle glasses...Um not what I was expecting!
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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-09-2008
Sat, 06-06-2009 - 5:51pm

Back on the kid thing:


There's a wide variety of possible parent/kid/family situation out there in the world, but given the context it seems only one is relevant: divorced dad (or, possibly, never married).


If there's a general view that significant social ills are caused by absent fathers paying too much attention to their kids, I think I've managed to miss it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-06-2004
Sat, 06-06-2009 - 10:33pm

"If there's a general view that significant social ills are caused by absent fathers paying too much attention to their kids, I think I've managed to miss it."


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