More than a friendship

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-04-2006
More than a friendship
1
Thu, 01-26-2006 - 10:13pm
I know it is not safe to hook up with people from the internet but I have known this guy since I was young. For the past few months we have been becoming closer through chatting on myspace.com. I know lately myspace has been considered unsafe but I feel very safe talking to him because I have known him for so long. Some nights we stay up and talk for hours about everything. I really want to hook up with him but I have a freakishly overprotective younger twin brother and he has a older brother who wants us to hook up. Do you think I should peruse a relationship with this guy or just keep it a friendship.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2002
Thu, 01-26-2006 - 10:31pm

It's not unsafe to meet people from the Internet if you take proper safety precautions! OLD has been an accepted form of meeting people for many years now. If you would like to see an old friend from the past and explore whether or not your reunion can develop into more - go for it! However, follow the steps below to keep yourself safe:

Meet in a public place where there will be a crowd of people.

Drive yourself or let a friend or relative drive you. DO NOT let him pick you up at your house

Do not divulge personal info such as your address until you feel comfortable.

When you meet, let someone know where you are going and how long you plan to be gone. If you'd prefer, have them call you some time during the meeting to ensure you are OK and don't need to be "rescued".

Have an "out" so that if you don't feel safe or want to end things early, you have an excuse.

Don't drink alcohol at all if you have a low tolerance and no more than one or two in any case.

Don't go home with him or go anywhere alone for the first couple meets.

This sounds like a lot, I know, but meeting people (or "hooking up" as you put it - sorry, I hate that b/c it sounds more like you are going to meet to have sex) from the Internet is only as dangerous or safe as YOU make it. If you use common sense you will be fine. And tell your brother to mind his own usiness! You're a grown up too and can make your own decisions. Be careful and use your head and you'll be fine.

All that said, until you meet and decide if your online "feelings" translate to real life, don'g have any expecatations. 99% of OL relationships don't translate to real life chemistry. You never know though and it's worth a shot. Right now, you have a pen pal. Why not meet and see if EACH of you feels a friend vibe or something more. Good luck!

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