more picky with OLD?

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-22-2003
more picky with OLD?
8
Sun, 03-20-2005 - 4:35pm

i think its been asked on here but reading the post regarding weight and not being able to date.... I started to wonder, are we more picky with OLD than real life? I know I tend to be more picky when searching online.what i was more picky on was appearance. I hate to say it but I was. I think because you don't have the chance to really see a personality so you base alot of your choices on looks alone. Sad but true.

agree? other thoughts?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-16-2004
Sun, 03-20-2005 - 4:42pm
I feel as if I'm picky in the opposite direction because it seems cute pictures are a dime a dozen online and most only faintly resemble their photo.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-01-2004
Sun, 03-20-2005 - 4:46pm

Hi SG-


I feel bad, but yeah, I think you are right.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-29-2003
Sun, 03-20-2005 - 5:57pm
I think I'm more picky with OLD than RL. As you both mentioned, online you just don't get a good feel for a person. At least I don't most of the time. I can't tell if I have chemistry with someone online. In person I can. And in real life, I've had chemistry with people that surprised me looks-wise. I probably would not have responded to a few of them online. I just haven't figured out how to weed through OLD so I suppose I'm relying a bit too much on looks.


Edited 3/20/2005 8:06 pm ET ET by dari10
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2003
Sun, 03-20-2005 - 6:37pm

I don't think I'm pickier with OLD than I am in real life - I'm equally picky in both arenas LOL.


Seriously, I think I'm farily flexible - but I will admit that I do bypass men whom I don't find physically attractive - even if everything else seems okay.


In terms of physical appearance, there is a difference between OLD and real life - for me. In real life, twice I've known men whom I did not find physically attractive at all. Nevertheless, as I came to know them - and their personalities - they became very attractive to me. But it took a long time to get to that point and I'm not willing to date someone I don't find physically appealing for months or even years on the off-chance that maybe someday my feelings will change.

 

 

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-03-2005
Sun, 03-20-2005 - 7:41pm

I think it's because we are basing our decisions on a list with a picture on it, rather than on a real person. Does that make anysense?

Also, in my experience a lot of people lie about their looks and their. I'm 35. I recently went out with a guy who also said he was 35 and "average" weight. Well, he had to be about 45 and "a few extra pounds" at least. I'm no skinny minnie - I'm a size 12 but I don't lie about it. However, I'm starting to wonder if I should start referring to myself as 28 and "average".

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-03-2005
Sun, 03-20-2005 - 7:49pm

>>I just haven't figured out how to weed through OLD so I suppose I'm relying a bit too much on looks. <<

I'm relying too much on looks, height and education. I'm currently working on my Master's Degree. IRL I would totally date a man who dropped out of college. For example my last BF was very intelligent but he had to drop out of college due to $$$. IRL, I can judge intelligence and how well read a person is by a short conversation. In OLD land, I think "some college" is a euphemism for took a class in basket weaving after HS. Like the woman who has the issue with "roommates" I have an issue with education - one that like that poster stated I do not have in real life.

Like another poster said, IRL you never know who you will click with. I "like" brunettes. My best relationships have been with blonds but if I am just looking at a picture I am going to go with what catches my eye.

One comment about the roommate thing. I totally understand that. However, since I live in Los Angeles where housing prices are so ridiculous that you need a 6 figure income in order to buy a condo - there is no way that can be a deal breaker!

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-26-2004
Sun, 03-20-2005 - 9:10pm

Hi Spark,

Give it time, people do not 'wake up' til about Tuesday night--I swear! it will happen! :)

While I do think I am more selective where OLD is concerned,I have relaxed those guidelines a bit lately, and stopped going for the 'boy toy'; hoping that some of these men older than myself (48) would be more mature and nicer to a good woman. My bad! Wow, so ...when DO men mature (sorry guys here, excluding y'all!), and why are my teen sons nicer to Their girlfriends?!

In RL, I treat all men the same, and I am more likely to speak with someone that I might not consider attractive, even dance a dance with someone like that when asked, to avoid being rude. OLD gives me a chance to be more less 'socially acceptable'; ie ignoring a man who writes that is not first or even second 'tier' for me, as I feel that is kinder than my obvious rejection.

What Gets to me, is that some of these men I have gone out with, that are not really 'first tier' for me, but they looked nice and 'okay-ish' act like they are Brad Pitt in a Matt Damon suit!!! E-to-th'-GO!!!!! A male friend tells me that if they go out with me, instead of appreciating someone very attractive, they begin to Internalize it think "Dude,if I got Her..then Miss March is within my grasp!"...Hrrghhh?

Truly (confused),
Cupcake

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2004
Mon, 03-21-2005 - 6:21am

Cupcake -

"A male friend tells me that if they go out with me, instead of appreciating someone very attractive, they begin to Internalize it think "Dude,if I got Her..then Miss March is within my grasp!"...Hrrghhh?"

YES! YES! YES!! I dated a man for two years (we'd met IRL) and he would go on and on about how he never in a million years thought he would meet someone like me, college-educated, good family, ambitious, intelligent, beautiful (not bragging; his words.) His prior relationships were with a 35-year old woman who still lived at home and a woman who became a heroin addict.

I honestly believe he got enough confidence dating me to dump me to find something LIKE me, but better!!

T