Mother's Day/Father's Day
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Mother's Day/Father's Day
| Mon, 05-02-2005 - 2:06pm |
This may be slightly OT, but it does deal with relationships, so I thought this could be relevant.
With Mother's Day just around the corner and Father's Day not far away, I have some questions that has been rolling around in my empty, little head:
1. If you and/or your SO is a parent, how do you think the day should be handled?
2. Should there be any gifts, even token ones?
3. Providing it's OK with the children, and including them, should you spend the day together?
4. What if they plan on spending it with their children/ex?
I don't have any answers or opinions, yet. LOL I'm just trying to figure it out. Thanks!

I'll be at a horse show on Mother's Day, so it won't even be a blip on my radar.
It's just another Hallmark profit day, IMO.
Way too many variables - I think it's up to each couple to decide what works. How do the ex's get along, the children's ages and attitudes, custody concerns not to mention the state of the relationship within the current couple - relatively new, possibly casual or serious and established.
I personally see them as days for children to show their love for their parents and wouldn't expect a gift from a SO to mark the day.
I don't see it as a Hallmark gimic though - as a widowed mother of 4, it's the one day in the year I know I will get a rest and treats since it's always a Sunday, unlike birthdays which tend to get lost in the chaos that is the weekday routine.

MSHi Luv,
My kids are older so they visit their separate parents as they want to on these holidays. We have not included many gatherings with both sides and it is just easier for both of us this way (My ex-husband). Plus I think it is easier on the grown kids as they don't feel any weirdness.
I do not have small children anymore, so don't know about that. But my daughter is newly divorced (less than 1 yr) and has a 3 yr old, almost 4, and she and her ex have finally quit trying to do the holiday things together and have started both doing their own celebrations with their own families and I can see that it is much less stress on her and I'm sure on him also (they are both involved with other people now also).
I figure you are divorced now, so why try to keep everything like it was, which many times wasn't all that great anyway! I think many of us live in the dreams and illusions of what we would like these little holidays to be like, but many times they just don't play out the way we would like them to.
I know some people do keep getting together on these days for the kids' sake, but I think it might be somewhat confusing to the younger kids also and may even give them false hopes of their parents getting back together - geez even my grown kids hoped that for the longest time and finally gave up on that one!!!
So I'd change the pattern and make it a special day in your own way with starting some type of new tradition. Things don't have to remain the same and new ideas and traditions are fun to start! By the way - Happy Mother's Day to you!
Sunshine
luv -
I'm dating a man who has three daughters, ages 20, 17 and 13. This is a first for me, dating someone with children. We've been dating about two months.
He is invited to my family Mother's Day extravaganza this weekend, which includes all of the moms, grandma's, etc. For Father's Day, we are planning an outing with his girls; after which we'll stop by my father's place.
In our cirumstance, it just seemed easy and natural to make these plans and to assume we'd be together... we both come from large, very close families so it's a no-brainer.
But I'm open to suggestions on whether I get HIM a token gift for Father's Day!!
Tracy
Maybe go in for a surprise gift with his kids? I've always done this with my daughter for her dad. A - he gets a better gift (!) and B - he gets a gift from her at all!
I wouldn't buy a father's day gift for a bf, though.
As for time, the op question, I've always preferred to have that day without kids for some reason. I guess because it is MY day after all.