Mr. Touchy-Feely
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| Mon, 02-27-2006 - 12:20am |
So I went out with Teacher Guy again today. I think it will be the last time. First, his friends were nice and pretty cool, but we got to the open house his friend was having for her business about 3. It was supposed to be over at 5 and dinner at 6-ish. We went to dinner at 8:30. He lives in a town about 30 minutes from where I live. By the time we got to the restaurant and got seated, it was after 9 which was pretty much the time I had planned to be home. By this time, I am tired, hungry and sore from my yoga class this morning and getting more of each by the minute. And I'll say it, starting to get cranky. Maybe I'm high maintenance, but oh well.
On top of all that, around 7 or so, he started getting really, REALLY touchy-feely - putting his arm around me, holding my hand, stroking my back, putting his hand on my knee... you name it, he's doing it. It's making any chemistry I felt begin to drift off. I am uncomfortable with it, but how can you SAY that? When I like someone, I am OK with the touchy stuff and even welcome it, but by this time, I am so not into it with him. I went into it thinking I might kiss him tonight, but by the time I got to my car at 10:15 and was thinking about the drive home and the extremely long evening, it wasn't gonna happen.
I feel a little bad because his friends were nice and he gave me a card and his friend's business is raising orchids and she and he gave me one that I liked. I'd like to thank her again for it, but I just don't know that I can go out with him again. Maybe after sleeping on it, I'll be OK, but wow, was it a long night.

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I'll be interested to hear yours! :-) Dish, sista!
No, I don't think so. I think he's just touchy-feely. He told me he likes to be affectionate with people he likes. For me, I'm OK with it eventually, but prefer to be comfortable with someone first.
OK, ya'll have almost convinced me to give it one more shot. I still have a couple days to think on it since he's out of town. Hopefully his cell reception will be bad and he can't call for a couple days! ;-) But I also think I'll tell him that I'm a person that needs to take things more slowly and that 1) I prefer dinner somewhere else than his apartment and 2) I like to work into the touchy-feely stuff gradually.
Actually, I've been thinking that some of it could have come from the way that his friend and his date were acting. They met on eH LAST WEEK and have been on 3 or 4 dates and acted like a couple that's been dating for months. They're doing stuff like going shopping together, hanging out at the guy's house, etc. I think maybe Teacher Guy sees that and thinks we can be the same way. He also seems to have a tendency to be oh, shall we say a little impulsive when it comes to relationships. He told me that he'd met a woman online (the first one he ever met) and they were married 6 months later. And divorced a few months after that. He claims that he doesn't want to do that again and wants to make sure it's right next time, but to me, his actions belie his words. But I suppose that is another thing for me to keep in mind.
OMG...yes, a *wee* bit impulsive!! Yikes!
I say give him another shot, but definitely at dinner somewhere other than his house. And FWIW, I would save the conversation about wanting to take things slowly for when you see him in person (I wasn't sure if that was your intent or not).
Sheri
OK, I was actually hoping to have it over the phone or even by email, but you're right. I just don't like heavy conversations early on but maybe that's been part of my problem in the past.
OK, you guys have convinced me. He gets one more shot. I'll send him a quick email telling him to just give me a call when he gets back and then we can work out plans for next time. Is it OK to tell him that I'd rather we went to a restaurant for dinner or is that better for when we talk on the phone? I don't want to lead him to believe that I'm up for that and don't want to leave that ambiguous.
Yes, I think that's fine to say in the email...something along the lines of "I'd be more comfortable going out to dinner at this point, however".
Sheri
LOL - song lyrics for "Keep Your Hands to Yourself"
http://www.leoslyrics.com/listlyrics.php?hid=29Dn7WgF3w4%3D
OK, it's not THAT bad. But yeah mister, no touchie the behind on the first actual date.
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