Must confess
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| Fri, 03-11-2005 - 10:00am |
Must confess that I am Looking for some words of wisdom & encouragement from my compadres here on this board, on this Friday morning (cupcake are you out there...). While I usually don't post often, I do however visit this board daily to read others' posts.
The experiences that I've had these last 4 weeks since getting back into the 'old' scene, have really had a negative impact on my level of self-esteem and my attitude about men. In fact, I've even had a couple of my better work friends tell me that they've seen a direct change in my personality since getting back into this 'old' thing and that they miss the happy smiley person I was before. I guess I am just trying to figure out a couple of things about 'old' in itself, like;
A.)why do I get so many trashy/distasteful emails from men that contain alot of sexual remarks/content (I'm certainly not wearing anything racey or revealing in my pics)
B.)why haven't I had any 'first meets' with anyone/ from reading all of your posts it appears that you all have no problem in that area - I must be doing something wrong (help)
C.)why does my profile keep attracting the attention of so many emotionally unhealthy men
D.)how is it that I spent x number of weeks talking to a person only to be stood up & misled
My profile has been set to invisible since last week Saturday morning because of my sour apple attitude. The irony here is (especially after last Friday night) I'm feeling somewhat scared about potentially exposing myself to more of the same bs that I've had during the entire month of February. My friends tell me that I am a very pretty lady with a beautiful n'warm personality, SO, if thats how my peers and colleagues view me, why is it that my online profile only draws the attention of guys that have questionable characters ? I have 2 months left to my old subscription... In the past several days I've been working on rewriting the My Intro portion of my profile and am seriously considering CHANGING all of my Pics, in the hopes that maybe these changes will draw the attention of emotionally healthy & sincere men. Or am I expecting too much in thinking that those kind of men can be found online.
Could really use some 3rd party insight here! My friends miss the happy me I used to be!
P.S.
Thanks for letting me vent & express my thoughts n'feelings.
Not trying to be a downer here,I just need some direction and sound advice :) LM

I am so sorry you feel so down LM! I honestly cannot tell you why you get so many nastygrams and emotionally unhealthy men. I've read your profile and I honestly can't see any red flags or things in your profile that really would attract that. Did you consider changing your screen name since there were so many people here that read it as "cashandpearls" or even when reading it as "cashmereandpearls" might view that as you being high maintenance? It is still no excuse for nasty treatment like you've had.
Well, I am with you in the low number of first meets. I hardly get any - they all seem to ghost on me before we get to that point (at least the ones I LIKE, the ones I don't really like are the ones that never go away!).
It sounds like you need a break. OLD is supposed to be a fun, positive experience and a way to meet people. If it is bringing you down and you are not getting the satisfaction out of it that you should, then stop for a while or quit for good. Look into other things in your area. Maybe OLD is not a good thing in your area.
I'm sorry you're feeling down about the process! It can be so demoralizing and depressing, no question about it.
Have you posted your profile here for feedback? I apologize, I just can't remember if you have. You might want to do that just to make sure you don't have something in the profile that is causing a problem without you being aware of it. Are you in a smaller area as opposed to a major city? That could be part of it too. And with respect to your last question, my thought on that is, don't spend weeks talking to anyone before meeting...if a meeting isn't happening after a few emails (without a good reason why, like he's out of town for a couple weeks), move on!
But to a certain extent, it's just the nature of the beast. And whether online or in real life, there are a LOT of unhealthy people out there! So you do have to weed through a lot of toads.
Sheri
I actually did change my username (about 2 to 2 and ahalf weeks ago I believe), after having read all of the response posts that all of you had provided :)
There was one nice email though that i had received, which stood out from the rest. In fact it was so nice that I wrote the guy back just to thank him for being such a gentleman in his correspondence. He wrote back several days later and wanted to share with me (cause there was no pic with his profile) what he looked like...He had stated in his profile that he could not display a photo because he is somewhat of a celebrity...
Turns out that this gentleman is a News Anchorman at a FOX broadcasting station within my state. Go figure, hey. Never wrote him back after that, primarily because of the age factor (he is 10 yrs. older than me). LM