My evening plans....

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-2005
My evening plans....
23
Sat, 09-10-2005 - 8:23am

I chatted with Bachelor 1 last night for awhile and he wants to cook me dinner tonight (shrimp scampi) and then take me to a movie....
Now normally I don't go to guy's homes this early in the dating... But I do feel comfortable with him and my alarms are not going off. Plus I will leave his info for one of my friends .... as a safety precaution.

I am so excited... I'll update you all much later tonight!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-04-2005
Sat, 09-10-2005 - 10:26am
You lucky dog! He even cooks! Have fun!
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-2005
Sun, 09-11-2005 - 7:49am
Well, despite our date being cut short b/c he got called into work... we had a great time. He has a very nice house and he gave me the grand tour... We ate and had wine and then his work cell phone started ringing and he ignored it for an hour and then he finally answered it to find out he had to go in for a few hours. He is an IT computer person and the server had gone out for another company and he had to go and fix it. But the conversation was great and he invited me to go tour a vineyard today, but I can't I have a picnic to go to.... And I even got a little goodnight kiss. Which was unexpected but glady received. Nothing over the top.. just a little peck. And then he left me a voice mail a few hours later on his way home, apologizing and saying that hopefully there will be more evenings ahead. Plus he mentioned coming and taking me to lunch during the upcoming week. He has to drive across town to get to where I work, so I think that is a cute gesture. He even told me he took his profile off of Yahoo and Match....I'm not sure why he told me that....????
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-09-2005
Mon, 09-12-2005 - 12:00pm

Enjoy the moments and don't stress about why he removed his profiles!! Doesn't mean anything!! Have fun on your next date!!!

By the way, how are you feeling about this guy?? I noticed he is doing all the right things but what's showing on your gut radar about him??

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-2005
Mon, 09-12-2005 - 12:27pm

My gut radar is just being cautious... I have been hurt so many times before... And I have to be very careful with this guy, b/c I could see myself falling for him. I like him. I am attracted to him. There is nothing wrong with him... so far =)

I want to take this slow and just make sure that he and I are on the same page... I don't want to jump the gun or get ahead of myself... Basically, for right now and probably for awhile I am letting him take the lead. Does that make sense?

I am just enjoying his company and flattery.... The only thing in the back of my mind is, I don't want him to think I'M not interested... you know? I can be a little shy when it comes to initiating dates or physical contact and I don't want that to come across as uninterested... Anyone have any suggestions?

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-02-2003
Mon, 09-12-2005 - 2:25pm

It sounds like things are going well, and a definite plus if he cooks!! LOL

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-04-2005
Mon, 09-12-2005 - 2:32pm
Have you read John Gray's "Men and Venus on a Date"? I just finished it and it opened my eyes to a lot of things I hadn't realized. You might find it helpful as you try to play your cards right.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Tue, 09-13-2005 - 10:04am

Sounds very nice, and it is moving slowly...so it is good you will feel more sure and less frightened.

Sara

 
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2002
Tue, 09-13-2005 - 1:29pm

I have to disagree that 1) him taking his profile down doesn't mean anything and that 2) he is doing everything right (based on him taking the profile down).

Kae, if I were you, a little ding would go off in my head that he's taken his profile down so fast after only the second date. Especially if you are wanting to take it slow and not jump into anything. It is his choice to take down his profile, but I am always a little wary about these guys that do that. The point of OLD is to meet people and see if you are compatible. So far you are, but it puts a lot of pressure on a new relationship when someone moves to that "I'm not going to look for anyone else after two dates" stage. I wouldn't be comfortable with it. My advice is to tell him that it is fine if he wants to take his profile down, but that you are not yet at the point where you are ready to take your own down (because I don't think you should at this point). If you want to take it slow and get out there for a while, make sure he knows that and that you are not looking to date only him just now. He might get offended (hopefully not), but I don't think that anyone taking their profile down after only two dates is a good idea.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2004
Tue, 09-13-2005 - 1:36pm

I've taken my profile down early (well, hidden it) because I don't like to juggle guys, but I never announced it or anything to whoever I'd be dating. Just kind of did it quietly.

Just for the record - my ex-boyfriend that I just broke up with started calling me his girlfriend right away, and told me he didn't want to see anyone else. (I didn't mind at the time because I really liked him, too). And the whole relationship did kind of fizzle after the first couple of months. We were together 10 months, because I was still on the fence of whether or not I wanted to be with him, but the months following the first couple were definitely not as intense. We got way too comfortable with eachother way too quickly.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2002
Tue, 09-13-2005 - 1:46pm

I think that's what can happen - you skip a couple steps and get into that relationship-y place so fast when you do it. You wind up getting complacent and maybe even in a rut. It's what is happening with my neighbor and her wierd boyfriend too. They were exclusive from the get go and now they are in a rut and have only been together 6 months.

I don't like juggling a lot of guys either, but I think that TELLING someone that you have taken your profile down implies that you are already in an exclusive place and it's so fast and a lot of pressure! But the method of taking it down quietly because you don't want to juggle a lot is OK. The taking down of profiles and moving to dating only each other should be a mutual one and only when both are ready for it, IMO.

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