my interest has waned..

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2004
my interest has waned..
1
Wed, 04-06-2005 - 11:08pm
Heh, since the last disappointment, I haven't received or spotted anyone of my interest.
In spite of all fuss about the last date, all I have found is that I feel most comfortable and easiest talking with my ex-BF of 4 years (that I met online, too). He doesn't want to settle down, he doesn't want to live with anyone, etc., so I know it's a dead end, too, to go back to my ex-BF, and we're just good friends now, but I feel like I won't find anyone.. in this way, I'll be single still in my 50s, 60s, 70s, etc. etc. uh, I'm just not meant to find anyone, I suppose... well, "you'll find the one when you aren't looking" isn't true..that, I can tell..
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-07-2005
Wed, 04-06-2005 - 11:43pm

I think all of us go in streaks where we have interest in dating and other times where we don't and then other things become more important in our lives, which is fine. Those are times where we get grounded again to our real lives and relax more. Then when we are ready to look again, we can feel better and more optimistic about the searching process.

Have you thought about taking a break from it for awhile? When we have a down attitude I feel that it shows through and may impact the types of people that we draw to us.

Maybe you need some time to appreciate yourself after the breakup with your last boyfriend? Just a thought... Also, is it working for you to remain friends with your ex bf as it seems to point out so many things that he DOESN"T want in his life? Is having that negativity in your life good for working toward a new beginning for yourself?

After my long term marriage then divorce, I had to weed the negative people from my life in order to move on, grow, and start again. These people were holding me back and I was sad to have to release them, but it was needed. Part of us wants to hold onto those same familiar patterns and people, but they may not be the best thing to remain in our lives, especially lives that we are trying to change and to make better for ourselves.

You will find another person eventually, but possibly you aren't ready right now for that? Sometimes we need to work on ourselves before we are ready for another relationship...

Sunshine