My man troubles...
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|Wed, 08-06-2003 - 2:56pm|
Met a man online - as friends only. He had a girlfriend at the time, and it never crossed my mind to be anything but friends... met him once about a month ago, and had a great time with him and the group of people we went out with. He and his girl broke up, and I invited him to a party being held by some friends, not thinking of a date, but thinking that he'd be fun to have along, and that he'd enjoy meeting new people (and maybe meet a nice girl for himself). As the evening progressed, we gravitated towards each other, and it hit me all of a sudden that I had feelings for him. It literally was like a train wreck happen in my head.
That night we spent the night at the party - partially because a little too much alcohol had been imbibed, and partially because it was just so late. We slept in each others arms, and I have never felt so blissful or safe. We met again a few days later for drinks and dinner - and I had another wonderful time.
The kink in everything, however, is that he moved away for a few months. He will be coming back to the area eventually, but in the meantime I'm struggling with my heart and my head. My head says that if things are meant to be, it will work out. That we will keep in touch, and resume what we've started when he gets back. My heart aches because I want to see him again, touch him again. And I'm afraid that I might lose him. And, I keep discounting my feelings because I keep telling myself that even though I've "known" him for several months now, we've only seen each other 3 times in person. And I don't know what he's thinking, and don't know how to approach him about it. Part of me is afraid I'm asking him for something he doesn't or can't give, and that if I do ask, he will pull away. And there's a little tiny voice in the back of my head that says to me, "What did you expect? You got into a messy situation - you knew it wouldn't be easy."
There. I already feel better for putting it down. Now any comments or advice would be appreciated. :)