My Question is Answered

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-08-2003
My Question is Answered
3
Sat, 06-11-2005 - 11:48am

Hi all,

About a month ago I posted about whether I should meet with a man I connected with through OLD. He had made a few suggestive comments on the phone. The general consensus was that I should give him a try just to see.

We met and played a few games of pool. He tried the big kiss at the end of the meet but it wasn't over the top. He suggested I call him but things were hectic and i didn't get to it. He called and asked me out a few weeks later. I did mention a low tolerance and that I don't drink much or often as a reason for drinking bottled water. After the game, we went to a small lounge for a drink. I had two but would never have ordered another. He ordered one for me when I wasn't at the table which was a small flag. Half way through the evening he leans over to kiss me and seemed surprised when I backed away. First thing when we got in the car, he leans over to kiss me again. He pulls into my driveway and already had his seatbelt off to come in when I said thanks and goodnight. He drove away quite fast and without even waiting until I had my key in the door.

I haven't heard from him since. This was really the first date so I don't think my behavior was inappropriate. To be honest, I didn't really feel the spark on the first meet but he seemed quite nice and intelligent so I thought I'd give it a try. Oh well. Live and learn. I get the feeling he thinks he is bordering on irresistible and thinks I must be a cold fish.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-07-2005
Sat, 06-11-2005 - 12:52pm

It sounds like you are better off without him! I do believe he thought you'd loosen up a bit with an additional drink and maybe let him come into your house and he'd score with you. When you showed him that wasn't happening he was mad and took off like he did. But thankfully he did take off and not try to force himself on you.

That's why I meet guys in public places first, for the first few dates, then as I feel comfortable with them and see that we might continue dating, then it can progress to them picking me up at my house when we go out, but not before, at least for me.

Sorry it was a bad experience but as long as you learned something from it. Also, go with your gut on things, if it feels weird, then don't do it no matter what anyone suggests you do.

Sunshine




Edited 6/11/2005 12:57 pm ET ET by sunshinesmiles2
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-18-2004
Sat, 06-11-2005 - 1:06pm

it sounds like from your first conversation w/ him you knew all along what this guy was about , your gut was telling you.. I do know you mentioned that and still gave him a chance as I would have too but honestly I would have gone to a coffee shop rather than out drinking especially if there was a bit of concern there.

but yes, he seems to be that he came on awfully strong and yes you were cool as you should be you just met him nothing wrong w /what you did..

I'd say he was all about scoring and seeing how far he could get it .. glad you did what you did. i 'd say NEXT.............

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 06-11-2005 - 1:08pm

Hmmm...I'm a little surprised that the general consensus was to go out with him. Suggestive comments before we've even met is an automatic NEXT! in my book! Not only is it completely disrespectful, it's about the surest indication you can get prior to meeting (IMO) that someone is primarily interested in sex, not dating.

But sometimes you have to live and learn, as you say ;-)! I would also caution you against having someone pick you up at your house before you've gone out with him at least several times.

Sheri