My romance apparently going hot & heavy

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
My romance apparently going hot & heavy
18
Tue, 04-04-2006 - 8:43am

:)

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2005
Wed, 04-05-2006 - 5:38pm

I included the fact that I have never been married nor do I have any children. I would like to add that I never married because I never wanted to settle with a man that wasn't going to be there till the end. You can see the signs and I don't profess to know anything about anyones life but myself but I would hasten to guess that you saw and ignored the signs when you made the decision to marry your soon to be ex-husband and have a child with him. We are all clouded by love but in reality you have to look at the whole picture. My parents were married for 40 years when my father passed away. My views on marriage is a bit tainted because of their success. I will NOT settle for anything less than that.

As far as never having children and finding myself pregnant? I think you missed the point. I am 46 years old and never got pregnant. There are certain ways to keep that from happening even though people like to pretend that "accidents" happen.

As far as your saying my views of blended families are something I have conjured up watching the news is ridiculous. I have plenty of family, friends and ex-boyfriends that have shown me the immaturity that happens when blended families occur. Sure there are success stories and there are failures in everything. BUT if you know that your daughter is not over the fact that her father is not married to her mother anymore you are putting her in a real pickle by even considering bringing other men into her life.

You discount me because of being single and childless so I choose to discount you because you have had such a hard time recently that you could possibly be not thinking exactly along the lines in order to protect your daughter. Pretty lame way to discount you huh? Well thats how I feel when you discount me. Just because we haven't lived doesn't mean we don't know it.

As far as what I do for a living. I am an Investigator for a Large National Bank. I investigate fraud. And you can bet I see so much financial destruction that goes on within a family unit blended or not. If they're ripping off the family they are doing far more worse behind closed doors.

I am going to contribute your emotional response to me on the guilt you feel for your daughter. It has to be real hard to go through what you are and make good choices. I have seen the complete and utter implosions that go on with men and women during divorce. It isn't anyplace I want to be. I respect that you have strong opinions and this is in no way to disrespect you at all. It's to only state my side of the story. Because I think the real point of this whole thing is that the children are protected.

Oh by the way your last post to me was filled with:

"& i know your opinion, & i can guess what your opinion
would be on a lot of other issues that may come up."

I would highly recommend you NOT speak for anyone other than yourself. You don't know me and with your priorities right now I don't want to be around when your child starts acting out because you spend more time with someone other than her. (Hence your dinner date on Friday)

F

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2005
Wed, 04-05-2006 - 5:47pm

Just for the record I will not date a man who has minor children whether he has full or joint custody. I will not be responsible for disrupting their lives for my own selfish reasons.

F

Avatar for eatatmoms
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 04-05-2006 - 6:42pm

WOW Fluffy, I am so shocked at the venom you are spewing on Rebecca. I can only say that you have never walked in her shoes (or any single mother's shoes) and you really can't speak on what is right for a single dating parent. In addition to that, I am rather flabbergasted at what a hot button this seems to be for you and at your anger toward a poster you don't even know. She is far from the only single mom here who talking about her dating experiences. WOW WOW WOW.

Melanie

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2005
Wed, 04-05-2006 - 9:12pm

I apologize if it appears hostile. That is not my intent. This is a hot button for me and I feel that I was challenged because I wasn't married or have children. One can know things that they've never experienced. I tire of women who disregard their children and it breaks my heart. I am in no way saying that this is anyone on this board. What I am saying is discounting what I know isn't fair.

F

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Wed, 04-05-2006 - 10:38pm

Phew! Issues ... issues ... issues ...


Not that i NEED to defend my parenting - but i will assure you that whether or not my child acts out - will have nothing to do with the time i spend with her.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Wed, 04-05-2006 - 10:39pm
Melanie, thank you for your support. Glad to see it wasnt just me thinking this was totally ludicrous. (((hugs)))
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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-16-2006
Wed, 04-05-2006 - 11:10pm
OK, guys.
heather 5-18-10
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Thu, 04-06-2006 - 12:07am
I know. I'm sorry! Thanks
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