My weekend ...

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-15-2003
My weekend ...
15
Sun, 08-10-2003 - 11:40pm
Hi all,

I am going to post another updated about Lloyd - since we've already discussed (to death) how I met him, and what I did on the 2nd date - I'm hoping at this point you all can just be happy for me, 'k?

Anywho - Friday Lloyd came to my place, my kitties, and I made home made pizza (I even made the sauce and dough from scratch), and he loved it! :o) Then I showed him around my town (he lives about an hour south-west of me and hadn't really been up here before), and we stopped to have ice cream while I was showing him our little downtown area.

Then on Saturday we went to six flags elitch gardens in Denver (amusement park) and he talked me into getting onto the "worst" of the roller coaster rides (Mindbender, where you sit with your feet flying in the air and go through tons of twists). It wasn't terrible, but I'd never go on it again - it wrenched my back out like nobody's business. I was on sooo much pain and he was all concerned about it and took me back to his place right away, and bought me a heat pad to see if that would help. He never bitched about the money he spent or the other rides he wanted to try or anything (please, can I hear a collective "Awww!"). I swear he's the sweetest man I've ever met.

Today we went hiking. He took me on one of the easier trails he'd been wanting to go on - 10 miles round trip. I've been walking a lot lately so I thought I'd give it a try - I made it about 4 miles in (and an elevation of 10,900 feet) when I couldn't continue - I was getting too light headed and the rest of the trail was almost like rock climbing. But I told him to continue without me since it was only another mile. He didn't want to leave me but I insisted, I didn't want him to be held back by me again like I'd done at the amusement park. He totally appreciated the gesture and took a ton of photos for me.

Anyhow I'm home alone right now - I had to come home and do laundry!! Tomorrow night he's invited me back to his place to meet his daughter, Emily, who is 20 months old. I will bring my collection of children's books from my years as a teacher and have some books to read to her.

Then from Tuesday til next Sunday he's on vacation - he's taking Emily back with him to Florida to visit the grandparents for a week. Which is good - I can catch up on my sleep!! (Hehe as Catherine would say {blushing}).

I might only have met Lloyd a week ago but I swear I feel like I've known him a lifetime. And while I am still poignently aware he just can't handle anything committed right now, what we do have so far just feels right. Even if it ends (and it probably will) I will have some great memories, and maybe in the end a good friend.

Hope everyone else had a great weekend! :o)

Gabi


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Avatar for linds8300
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 08-11-2003 - 12:38am
Sounds like you had a great weekend Gabi! Lloyd sounds like a sweetheart :) And I am happy for you and your happiness...I just kept out of the other 2 posts as I despise conflict and didn't want to get involved :) Good luck!

Lindsay

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-17-2003
Mon, 08-11-2003 - 2:55am
U had a busy and fun weekend ha..good for u Gabi and stay happy! good wishes for ya.

~Jen
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 08-11-2003 - 7:45am
What you have with Lloyd sounds great. But from what I have heard, kids don't "get" dating - they "get" attached - and since you've only known him a week and know he wants nothing committed, do you think you might want to consider not meeting or having any involvement with little Emily so that she doesn't get attached in a situation which you have defined as impermanent? As you wrote, "Even if it ends (and it probably will)" Yes I know she is only 20 months old - but the 2 year olds I have worked with (I was a teacher and a nanny) and the two year olds I have heard of - get easily attached and I am not surprised.

Juzt a thought not a judgment. I hope you continue to have fun!


Edited 8/11/2003 7:47:28 AM ET by deena33

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2003
Mon, 08-11-2003 - 9:18am
Gabi, I am truly happy for you and your success with this guy. Lloyd does sound really nice and I hope things work out to your advantage. Have a great day and rest all you need to.


Gail;)

Avatar for born2luv
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 08-11-2003 - 11:02am
I am truly happy for you! It sounds like a wonderful weekend and a wonderful guy!

I would also be hesitant to met children, if there were no attachments to be made.

But I am happy you have found a great guy and enjoy your time with him!

Living in the moment is actually one of the hardest things for most people to do...

~*~ Catherine

Avatar for la_de_mafi
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 08-11-2003 - 8:54pm
I wish you the best in this relationship and I hope you get what you want out of it. Great companionship and even better sex.. ;oP

Here I will speak from my past.. be careful for you... I don't know if you get attached to children easily.. I know I do. I dated a man with a lovely 2 yr old and I fell totally in love with the child, and the man as well. I knew that the man & I weren't serious, and it was the same thing that you have with Lloyd... Great companionship and even better sex. It might be really hard for you if things don't work out and you get attached to the child. (same for you, too Gail!) I don't mean to sound like a sour puss, I am just saying that because I know that I got really hurt that way.

Anyways.. Good luck. I hope your back feels better and that everything works out.

~Nikki

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 08-12-2003 - 7:31am
That's interesting - as you read my concern was more for the child, since a child can't distinguish between being abandoned and someone simply leaving her dad. I've had two year olds get attached to me in one day or less . ..

interesting perspective (but then again you always have one!) It also says something about the man who knows he does not want a commitment yet wants to involve his child.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2003
Tue, 08-12-2003 - 9:48am
Maybe Lloyd does want a committment with Gabi, since he is allowing her to meet his child. I personally, have kids and I know my two year old couldnt give a hoot who he meets. He knows people by name, but it doesnt really effect him if he doesnt see anyone again. I personally, have to worry more about my 5 yr old, soon to be 6. He is the one with the attachment issues. I have never had any men I have dated around my kids, except Eric. The guy I have been seeing. He has a 2 yr old as well. So, we can get away with, "This is Autumn's daddy, Eric" and we keep our affection down to a friends only around the kids and make sure we seperate our time between them all. It is hard and I know what you are saying about kids getting attached. They do easily yes, and you should be careful who you introduce them to. I will say this, there is a certain type of trust when you want to intriduce your kids to someone. Lloyd must trust Gabi completely, and wants her to meet his daughter. So, I think that says alot about Gabi. Just my opinion.


Gail:)

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-15-2003
Tue, 08-12-2003 - 9:56am
Deena,

Just an FYI, I don't know for certain if he wants a commitment or not - I'm making that assumption based on some things he has said. I would rather make the assumption he doesn't want a committment and find out that he does, than assume he does want one, and find out that he doesn't (self-defence mechanism).

However the fact he's wanted me to meet his child does give me a glimmer of hope that *maybe* he wants more than a superficial relationship. I'll admit I'm getting mixed signals but for me its too soon to sit him down and have a "talk" with him. He's been really badly hurt by women in the past and I don't want to scare him off. What can I say, I'm a sucker for hard luck cases.

I am also poignently aware of how attached children can become. I am a former elementary school teacher and I babysat for over 9 years ... and when the school year came to an end, or when I stopped babysitting, I did have many children in tears due to the seperation that was to come. I did pick up a trick or two that can make such things easier on the child.

I certainly can't very well tell Lloyd "No I don't want to meet your child". Then it would sound like I don't want anything serious. I'm just treading the waters very carefully here since I'll admit I am starting to really like him, but a part of me is still saying keep it casual or I'll get my heart broken.

Anyway, that's my 2 cents for today ...

Gabi

P.S. I didn't get the chance to meet little Emily last night because Lloyd's ex-wife made a fuss and now might not even let him bring her with to Florida to spend a week with her grandparents.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2003
Tue, 08-12-2003 - 10:03am
Oh, Gabi I am sorry. That is probably the one thing I lacked to mention about dating someone with kids. The Ex. They can be harder to deal with, then the fact that the person has children. If the Ex is a loon, well you can guarantee you are not going to have a smooth ride while dating. Just be the better person and respect her territory and understand that she may have a problem with Lloyd dating and all his intentions while dating. Just take it slow, and give Lloyd the time to work things out and maybe soon you can meet little Emily. If not, oh well...at least you know it is not because Lloyd doesnt want emily to meet you. He trusts you enough to let her, so it says alot anyway about you. Goodluck and let us know how it goes.

GaiL:)

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