Just to remind us all that there ARE nice people out there ...
When I had an ad on CL, I was corresponding for awhile with a man who turned out to be black -- I am white and decided I just wasn't up for the whole interracial dating thing. I felt quite conflicted about that -- didn't want to seem a racist, which I truly am not, but was pretty sure it wouldn't work for me.
I wrote to him and told him that I did find him interesting and attractive but that I have enough challenges in my life and taking that particular one on was too daunting. He wrote back and told me he would "always remember me" as a sweet, considerate person. I was floored, in a good way.
His response was "crude" but he probably took offense to yours as well. I'm not sure if he sent a picture but there are some young 46 year old out there as well.
Yes, you should ignore in the future; and preferences are just that, preferences not LIMITATIONS. Stay open!!
That's pitiful. He's alone for a reason! You were just being nice and you get THAT in return. Awful. Ignoring is definitely what I do when I get emails from older men who know they are out of my age range.
Oh, come on, Vex, you've been doing OLD long enough to know that "fair" doesn't enter into it ;-)!!! If OLD/life was "fair", then every guy we were attracted to would want a serious LTR and have NO dealbreakers or red flags, right ;-)?
I almost always resist the urge to send nasty-grams to people who send me "thanks but no thanks" emails and I would CERTAINLY never send one that nasty, but I do think negatively of people who send even "nice" rejection emails. It's not rational or "fair"...but that's how I react. I am in no way, shape or form excusing this guy for sending the email he sent you (that was *totally* out of line), but I *do* understand not reacting well to a rejection email...if I'm taking a chance, and the other person isn't interested, I just want the other person to ignore me...don't make me feel like an idiot for taking the chance (and that's how even a "nice" rejection email feels to me).
He's just bitter you turned him down. CL is just like that, some cities more than others. I rarely had problems in Chicago, but the men on Dallas CL are mostly shallow, bitter men.
OMG - I've been saying the same thing since I moved here. They really do, they want skinny, blonde, rich bimbos who really ARE too good for them. It's so funny. I'm pretty, but yes, I'm brunette and a size 10, and work for a living, so you know, I'm below bacteria.
ETA - guess you aren't accepting email through your profile. Shoot me one and I'll tell you where I live. I try to stay somewhat discreet. :-)
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Just to remind us all that there ARE nice people out there ...
When I had an ad on CL, I was corresponding for awhile with a man who turned out to be black -- I am white and decided I just wasn't up for the whole interracial dating thing. I felt quite conflicted about that -- didn't want to seem a racist, which I truly am not, but was pretty sure it wouldn't work for me.
I wrote to him and told him that I did find him interesting and attractive but that I have enough challenges in my life and taking that particular one on was too daunting. He wrote back and told me he would "always remember me" as a sweet, considerate person. I was floored, in a good way.
His response was "crude" but he probably took offense to yours as well. I'm not sure if he sent a picture but there are some young 46 year old out there as well.
Yes, you should ignore in the future; and preferences are just that, preferences not LIMITATIONS. Stay open!!
He didn't send a picture and honestly, I wouldn't care if he did.
Oh, come on, Vex, you've been doing OLD long enough to know that "fair" doesn't enter into it ;-)!!! If OLD/life was "fair", then every guy we were attracted to would want a serious LTR and have NO dealbreakers or red flags, right ;-)?
I almost always resist the urge to send nasty-grams to people who send me "thanks but no thanks" emails and I would CERTAINLY never send one that nasty, but I do think negatively of people who send even "nice" rejection emails. It's not rational or "fair"...but that's how I react. I am in no way, shape or form excusing this guy for sending the email he sent you (that was *totally* out of line), but I *do* understand not reacting well to a rejection email...if I'm taking a chance, and the other person isn't interested, I just want the other person to ignore me...don't make me feel like an idiot for taking the chance (and that's how even a "nice" rejection email feels to me).
Sheri
LOL - yeah you're right.
I'd have to respond "Get a life".
Hey Emily - I didn't know you were in Dallas!
OMG - I've been saying the same thing since I moved here. They really do, they want skinny, blonde, rich bimbos who really ARE too good for them. It's so funny. I'm pretty, but yes, I'm brunette and a size 10, and work for a living, so you know, I'm below bacteria.
ETA - guess you aren't accepting email through your profile. Shoot me one and I'll tell you where I live. I try to stay somewhat discreet. :-)
Edited 3/26/2006 10:54 pm ET by lothiriel2000
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