nasty messages

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-2005
nasty messages
14
Fri, 06-10-2005 - 5:18pm

1. Has anyone here ever emailed a nasty message to someone they met from online, for whatever reason, and then regretted it? Maybe then thinking that they should've gave them a chance even though you didn't have any feelings for them when you met?

2. Has anyone had someone email them a nasty message?




Edited 6/10/2005 5:19 pm ET ET by dream_angel2005

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-28-2005
Fri, 06-10-2005 - 5:27pm

A man who popped in and out with emails and IMs but never actually made concrete plans to meet me emailed me with "Pig your ugle" when I declined an email on AS from him. Lovely, huh.

The only person I ever sent a nasty email to was someone who sent me a raunchy email on the same site. He actually was from the other side of the country and twice sent me the same message that I don't even want to repeat here. He deserved a nasty email back and then I blocked him.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2002
Fri, 06-10-2005 - 5:39pm
I sent a nasty one that I don't regret. A guy that had contacted me on Matchmaker was pretty cocky and arrogant and very much not my type. I sent a quick "thanks but I don't think that we are what each other is looking for." email back. He responded back with "Oh yeah? What are you looking for that I don't have?". So I told him in no uncertain terms then I blocked him. It was kinda fun actually but it supports my view of not sending "thanks but no thanks" emails from the first contact. Not worth it IMO.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-2005
Fri, 06-10-2005 - 7:25pm

I thought I would ask because a friend of mine met a guy from Match and emailed him afterwards saying she would like to see him again. She noticed that he was online that day and the day after and wasn't replying and wouldn't talk to her on IM, so she sent a nasty email saying that "he was like most other guys, a jerk" and later, and later an email saying they weren't compatible but hopes he finds someone soon. He sent an email back saying something about her being slightly rude and wished her good luck in searching for the right guy. She then emails him every day for 4 days apologizing for calling him a jerk but after the 4 days, he emails and asks her to stop emailing and that it was a huge turnoff getting that rude email.

What do you all think of this situation? She feels badly about the whole thing now and I've been trying to make her feel better but she's having a hard time with it. I guess she should've thought before she sent the email. That's what I told her anyway.

Avatar for calilawgirl
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-15-2003
Fri, 06-10-2005 - 11:30pm
I would tell your friend she needs to realize this guy is a wash and move on. Tell her to chalk this up as a learning experience and maybe next time save the email as a draft, instead of hitting send.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2002
Sat, 06-11-2005 - 12:34pm

I agree. In these situations, it just isn't worth it to leave a nasty email. You don't really know these people after a few communications or a couple of dates. They are probably dating other people. So if they blow you off, it is a big waste of your energy to get nasty with them and just makes YOU look stupid, petty and nasty. And now she looks like a stalker with the 4 days of apology emails. One of my favorite quotes is lg's comment about these kind of emails "it just gives them another chance to reject you." Except now you are giving them really good reason.

Tell your friend to learn from this experience and to next time not get so bent out of shape about it. I know it hurts when someone you thought you had this great connection with blows you off, but there is a good chance they are not blowing you off for something you did or who you are. They might have found someone they are more compatible with, they might be dating 5 others, they might be busy, there can be all kinds of things. The trick to try not to take it to personally (easier said than done) and realize that there is nothing you can do to change their mind by sending the nasty email and while it might make you feel better, you really just wind up looking worse than if you had just blown them off.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-15-2004
Sat, 06-11-2005 - 1:16pm

I've never sent a nasty email. It's just not my personality to do that. In fact, if someone sends a "thanks but no thanks" email and I were to respond with a tirade, it would just confirm to that person that they were right in rejecting me to begin with.

I can't say that I've ever gotten a nasty email either.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-2005
Sat, 06-11-2005 - 1:41pm
I'd never send one either. I'm not the type to do that. I don't see the point in it, really.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-07-2005
Sat, 06-11-2005 - 1:47pm

Sending a nasty email is just a waste of my time and they will probably not read it and certainly won't do anything about it as rude or lieing people usually think that they are just fine as they are. So emailing will do nobody any good really. If it makes you feel better to write or type it out to get your feelings expressed, then do so, but don't send it.

Sunshine

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-01-2004
Sun, 06-12-2005 - 3:14pm
I got a nasty email once!
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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2004
Mon, 06-13-2005 - 8:38am

No and no.

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