Need Advice ASAP

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-13-2006
Need Advice ASAP
7
Tue, 07-18-2006 - 4:25pm

Ok, met this guy online. Fantastic guy. Totally into me. Asked me to be exclusive within 2 weeks. Asked me to fly home with him to meet his parents. Wants to take me to his friends' wedding and introduce me to all of his friends. He's perfect. Except that he still had his online dating profile up. So I set up a fake profile to see if he was still dating girls from the site. He set up a date with my fake girl yesterday. Check this out:

Email to my friend:

So, I asked him about Match.com. He said that he reads the emails, but never responds to them. He said that he shouldn't have a profile any more and that he would take it down. He didn't want to have sex this morning because his penis was sore. I said I noticed last night that it was chaffed and asked why. He said too much masturbation. I did not ask if there was another girl - but keep reading. I asked about the panties I found pretty much right out in the open in his bedroom. He said that he wasn't sure whose they were but they must have been there for a while. I said that seems odd because I know his maid comes regularly. We've been together almost 2 monhts. He had no explanation. I asked if he'd been with anyone since we'd decided to be exclusive. He said no. I said he seemed like he was mad that I was asking these questions. HE SAID no, I had a right to ask those questions because I'M HIS GIRLFRIEND. I said I believed him and that I just needed to ask and I hoped he understood. I said I hope things wouldn't be weird because of those conversations and asked "we're fine, right?" he said yes. He walked me out to my car and I said, "I just want you to know that I like you very much." He said "I like you very much too." I said, "And I think we have great chemistry." HE SAID, "I THINK WE HAVE GREAT CHEMISTRY." He is planning to take me to his friend's wedding this weekend and wants me to meet his friends. Remember, this is the set-up.

Then I get into the office (the SAME morning, as in, immediately after the above conversation with me) and he's already emailed fake-girl. Here's what he said:

Hey, can we make it a little earlier tonite? I'm still jet-lagged and I was exhausted at 6 last night (still 10 hours ahead). Maybe 7:00?

Billy

Also, here's the item:

To: Fake Girl:

To answer your questions, I've met about 15 people in person over the course of about 8 months (I was on last year for about 4 months and I went back on about 4 months ago -- I'll explain tomorrow). All have been very nice but just NO CHEMISTRY. And they never look like their pictures! I HAVE NOT DATED ANYONE I'VE MET so no success stories yet. And you?

Billy

Then, to be even more contradictory, he took down his profile, just like he told me he would!!!

SO, HERE'S THE QUESTION - How to handle this "date" he has tonight. Show up and confront him? Let him think he got stood up? If I do that, do I confront him (which includes admitting I was the fake girl) or do I just let it go - is this his one last date? I've been guilty of that. I need a strategy. HELP!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-16-2006
Tue, 07-18-2006 - 5:52pm

While I don't approve of tricking people online by posting fake profiles (IMO, two wrongs don't make a right and you're also being deceptive and lying), this guy definitely does not seem to be on the up and up.

heather 5-18-10
Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 07-18-2006 - 6:00pm

I think you just break up with him with no explanation other than, I'm sorry, I don't think we are a match after all. There are just too many red flags here, including him coming on so strong from the beginning and him lying to Fake Girl about your relationship.

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-05-2006
Tue, 07-18-2006 - 8:59pm

I think he just wanted a decent date to take to this wedding so his friends wouldn't think he is a loser. But he is a loser!

Sorry, but I would make the date with him as Fake Girl, then just call him on his cell to tell him that you were Fake Girl and you won't be joining him. End of relationship.

Maybe he is an addict?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Wed, 07-19-2006 - 12:09am

"Too much mastrubation"???

Photobucket

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-28-2005
Wed, 07-19-2006 - 9:45am

Like someone had said...two wrongs dont' make it right. He's been lying and deceiving all along even to you,the fake person (you) and possibily many more women. You have seen too many evidences..panties that don't belong to you, sore penis, more online contacts..etc..
Ask yourself...do you really want a boyfriend like that? Breaking up is hard to do but It has been only 2months so it's not like you have been together for a yr or more. Get rid of him ASAP!!!!
I'd say...stood him up and never contact him again.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-16-2006
Wed, 07-19-2006 - 9:57am

Rebecca has an excellent point in saying you should go be tested for STDs.

heather 5-18-10
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-16-2006
Wed, 07-19-2006 - 10:05am
I am surprised you would even waste another second on him by even meeting him tonight. You know now that he is a LIAR. That should be enough to end it now. It could only get worse and cheaters endanger your health when sex is involved. You deserve better and can only do better.