Need advice quick!
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Need advice quick!
| Tue, 03-29-2005 - 3:58pm |
OK, you all might remember R, the guy that I have been out with a few times who I met in RL. He has been kinda wishy-washy on me and seems to be kinda into me but not really. He and I are both big fans of Lost so he has asked me over tomorrow to watch the new episode and have dinner. I'd like to go and know that if I can keep my expectations that this is just a fun thing and probably not going to go anywhere that I will be fine. But it is the first time I have been to his house and we also haven't gone out in a couple weeks. It seems like every time I have given up on him, he'll show back up and ask me out. I honestly am not expecting it to go anywhere, so is it OK to just go and have fun and make out with him? Cuz we probably would. :-)

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Well, if anyone cares, I am going. I am not going to sleep with him - it's a school night and I have to get up the next morning for work and I am not going to have a do-n-dash thing. That may be what he is expecting but if he is, he'll be disappointed and I'll chalk it up to experience. I like the guy. He likes me. We have fun together and have a lot in common. We talk at least a couple times a week but yes, he takes his sweet time asking me to do things. So he's probably not into me in a dating sense. Who says that he has to be?
Thanks for the opinions, I had pretty much made up my mind when I got the email, but I was interested in what you all had to say.
http://tickers.ticke
lilah, I think you are right on about this and it is not your limited experience. I'm sorry your guy turned out to be such a jerk. I think there are ways to handle these things that both people get what they want out of it with no one feeling bad. So far, this guy has always treated me respectfully and not made me feel trashy. We haven't slept together yet tho so that could change I suppose when/if it happens. If it starts to affect my self-esteem, I am not going to let it continue.
Right now I am enjoying it as much as he is (or so it seems) and we like hanging out. I may not be able to handle it either but I figured I'd just see how it goes since we like each other and seem to enjoy each other's company. And this is not a wham-bam-thank-you-ma'am. When we get together, we do go on real dates and do real stuff. Again, if it ever turns into just sex and leave, then it will be over too.
http://tickers.ticke
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HOW??? I need to know in case this ever happens to me again. The problem with me is that I can't sleep with someone unless I have at least a little of an emotional connection with him and if I have an emotional connection, I'm probably going to want it to be more. So I guess the key is not to rush into it. In your case, I think I'd get together with the guy whenever it was convenient for you but keep my options open. Keep dating, keep meeting people. Honestly, there are just some men who run from all commitments and they disguise their fear behind flakiness. It doesn't mean they aren't "into" you -- it means they have issues. Their issues aren't really your problem unless you let it be. Just take whatever you want from them and try not to worry too much about it. Remember, first and foremost, to look out for YOU and what you need. These men are big boys; they can take care of themselves!
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