Need advice....or ideas.....

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-15-2004
Need advice....or ideas.....
2
Fri, 05-06-2005 - 2:24pm

Hi all....

A few weeks ago I met the greatest guy online. We both went through breakups months back where we were cheated on. We are on the same page with what we want...we both are looking for a relationship, a serious one...trust is the key here, we were both treated horribly before....anyway....besides this we are alot alike, its almost scary. He is very kind and attentive and we just get along well. We have talked on the phone alot and have exchanged several pictures. Im due to meet him in about 2 weeks. He lives 2 hours south of me. Anyway, couple questions... 1st is....he is always flirty and affectionate online, things like morning gorgeous, night sexy, and I cant wait to hold u in my arms etc....but on the phone he never does that....could it just be a shy thing, rather than the safety of being behind a monitor? Also, I havent even gone the exclusive route yet, as its early and not necessary, however I would like to be a lil more intimate with our conversations, and just dig a lil deeper and see if we can connect on a deeper level...how do I even begin to do that? We usually talk about our jobs and stuff like that. He is a farmer, and he is a bull rider and we talk alot about that, but something more deep....How do I iniate something like that? Any ideas?

Much appreciated!
Thanks

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-16-2004
Fri, 05-06-2005 - 2:40pm

Hold your horses until you meet in person. If you both still feel the same way THAT is the time to begin thinking about it. Everything up until the meeting is nothing but pre-screening.

Only by meeting can you tell if you truly have things in common and can make a connection. A good phone or email dialogue is not always an accurate predictor of whether you click in person.

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 05-06-2005 - 2:55pm

IMO, you're going about this *completely* backwards. MEET in person first...nothing is real until you've done that. It's totally inappropriate, IMO, to be having anything other than small talk conversations until then.

Until you actually meet him and spend a substantial amount of time together, you have NO IDEA what he's really like, you just have your projected image of him.

Sheri