Need good sites

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2003
Need good sites
3
Wed, 06-29-2005 - 10:40am

So, I am new to all of this. I'm looking for a good site (or two) that will allow me to foster a friendship / companionship with gentlemen from my area. Have already tried a few on a whim and after one email or two, my "friend" always began asking perverted questions.

In frustration and loneliness,
Pepper

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-01-2005
In reply to: pepper16
Wed, 06-29-2005 - 11:41am

Hi Pepper and welcome to the board!


For Newbies I would recommend Match.com.

CL-Truewild1969

For further information regarding OLD including FAQ please visit our OLD Website at;

Avatar for calilawgirl
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-15-2003
In reply to: pepper16
Wed, 06-29-2005 - 11:51am

"Friendship / companionship with gentlemen" sounds a little ambigious. What exactly are you looking for? There are a gazillion different sites out there for different needs. If you could be more specific about who and what you want- we might be able to provide you with different sites than you've already tried.

FYI- regardless of what site you are on- there will be people asking "perverted" questions. I've heard it from both men and women.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-07-2005
In reply to: pepper16
Wed, 06-29-2005 - 2:18pm

Hi Pepper,

Welcome to the board! In your profile, it helps if you are specific for what you are looking for, like do you want to date casually or are you eventually looking for something more long term? Some people just want to go on a lot of dates and have fun, while others are more serious to a relationship, which either is fine but it helps if you state that in your profile.

Make sure that you don't have anything relating to sex in your profile, even in the tiniest way, or you WILL get the guys who think you're mainly looking for sex. There are weirdos on every site and you'll proibably get your share of their weird emails, we all do. You just delete and block them. But you can't take it personally either.

But with doing OLD (online dating), you have to weed through the good and bad emails. Some will appeal to you and others will not at all.

Then you will have guys who seem interested and wink or email at you and you reply back, and then they never reply again or disappear (as we in OLD land call ghosting). Again, you can't take this personally either because people disappear for various reasons - maybe they are the type of person who hides behnd a keyboard and has fun chatting through IM or email but never plans to actually meet in real life, or they may have a couple of ladies they are juggling to see (which is normal for OLD), or maybe they have thought about it and changed their mind, or maybe they have stuff going on in their life at that time and the timing is just off. There are just so many reasons they ghost, but you CAN NOT take it personally that they don't like you. Many times it's their issues.

We all have different preferences in what we like in a person and sometimes when you meet in real life, you just don't click, that happens and is totally normal. They are usually nice guys but not ones you'd care to go on a second date with. You usually go through many of these types of meets before you eventually find one that you both click and have the same agenda in mind. Yet some people get lucky and meet a good one right away, but that generally doesn't happen right away, so you have to learn patience.

I try to think of OLD as just a venue for meeting people. Another thing I rarely do is talk on IM (Instant Messenger)to strange guys I've never met since most of them seem to be mainly interested in meeting for the quick one, especially guys on there at night.

But with all of this said, there ARE nice guys on the sites also, it's just tricky finding them sometimes! I did find one that I dated for over 5 months, but we ended up not being right for eachother. There are people on this board who are in relationships now that they met from OLD and they are doing quite well, so it can happen.

But I would go into the past posts and read some of them and it'll help you to learn more about doing OLD, and stay with us and you'll learn more also. All of us get frustrated and can be lonely at times, but it is nice to have people to share and vent with as we need to! Good luck to you!

Sunshine