need help...

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-30-2006
need help...
21
Tue, 07-04-2006 - 4:16pm

ever since I quit talking to that one girl.... I haven't been able to find anyone else. None of the girls Ive messaged have even written me back (on myspace). I dunno if there i s something wrong with my profile, my pictures, or my messages, or I dont have enough friends on there and I look like a loser to them or what I dont know it's really depressing. I have a really hard time finding anyone that it looks like I have something in common with and so I am really let down when I find somebody and they dont even want to write me back. i need some kind ofhelp or maybe suggestions of other sites that I could try besides just myspace.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2005
In reply to: gl_1911
Wed, 07-05-2006 - 10:10am

Have you tried Yahoo, Match or eHarmony? The OLD game can be rough so try not to let it get you down... it really is a numbers game.


How about sharing your myspace nickname so we can take a look at your profile and give some constructive criticism?


Kerry

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-30-2006
In reply to: gl_1911
Wed, 07-05-2006 - 6:02pm

I filled out all the questions on eharmony only to have them tell me "Sorry you are in the 1% of people that we can't match because you don't fit in to our system" or something like that which didn't make me feel too great.... hmm match I have to finish filling out my profile and stuff which sucks because I hate writing about myself... I tried yahoo a long time ago... weren't that many people in my area. My myspace display name is "Gulf"... im the one from georgia age 21.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
In reply to: gl_1911
Thu, 07-06-2006 - 12:54pm

Well ... if you are asking ... I do not think you are going to attract all THAT many "decent" women with that Myspace profile. There is an AWFUL lot of voilence & gun refernces as well as a lot of negativity. Almost to the point where I wondered if it was a fake profile & you are joking.

Photobucket

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
In reply to: gl_1911
Thu, 07-06-2006 - 12:55pm
Kerry, click on his member name & the Myspace link is in his profile.
Image hosted by Photobucket.com

Photobucket

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-30-2006
In reply to: gl_1911
Thu, 07-06-2006 - 4:24pm
lol hmm..... I guess... hmm I dunno myspace is more than just a dating thing its for your friends and stuff too so I guess so I didn't worry about toning it down so much... lol... ah jeeze. I know my match profile isn't gonna be anything like my myspace one lol... oh well. The last girl I talked to wasn't bothered by it i guess she knew it was a guy thing to have a "macho" or whatever profile.....
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-01-2005
In reply to: gl_1911
Thu, 07-06-2006 - 6:35pm

I don't do the myspace thing, so keep that in mind when reading my comments. :-)

I think Rebecca is right, your profile does sound pretty negative and dark and that may turn women off. It doesn't seem like you enjoy life a whole lot - and even the comments people wrote are kind of scary. Also, the Army thing is a real turnoff. Now, don't yell at me, I've dated more than one military officer in my time, but a lot of women have huge issues with the military/guns/anything like that.

Then again, do people really use myspace to meet people? I don't even know.







iVillage Member
Registered: 11-04-2005
In reply to: gl_1911
Thu, 07-06-2006 - 7:59pm

Hi,

I've just been lurking on the boards lately, without much to say about myself. Anyway, I hope this can be of some help. I saw your profile and to be honest, was scared off. I'm sure you have some great qualities that would attract people, but it really doesn't come through at all in your current profile. When I was doing OLD a while back, I was only drawn to people who came across as friendly, approachable, and open in their profiles. I know you have issues about your quietness, but don't let it come across as intolerance for people who have a different communication style.

If your question is about having more success in starting communication with new females, you need to tweak your profile to make yourself come across nicer. Why not change your picture to show your eyes and with a smile on your face? This doesn't mean you pretend to be someone you're not, but think about the qualities that draw people to you (ask friends who know you well for feedback) and play those up. I agree the guns, friends' comments, and general tone of unfriendliness bordering on intolerance is a huge turnoff. But you don't have to present yourself this way.

Good luck.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-30-2006
In reply to: gl_1911
Thu, 07-06-2006 - 10:38pm

I dunno that is my life.... and no I do not enjoy life very much I have been chronically depressed for many years and to be honest there is nothing enjoyable about my life I am alone I always have been my job is miserable and obviously I am just a creep who scares people away I guess sometihng must be wrong with me to listen to the kind of music I do and to be so preoccupied with guns and all this "dark" stuff. I do not like being in the military at all...nor do I "yell" at people... but I've been told I am good at shooting so it is something I do a lot and I try to enjoy because I am not good at very many things. It is not easy to smile when you have nothing to smile about. I guess profiles are a mistake for me because I don't have anything good to show anyone I was stupid for ever trying to reach out in the first place.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-01-2005
In reply to: gl_1911
Thu, 07-06-2006 - 10:54pm

I mean this in the most supportive way -

Have you thought about making your life the way you want it and THEN dating? Dating is not all there is in life. If you aren't happy with yourself, odds are no one is going to be happy with you. Women don't really care if you're attractive and successful, they care if you are happy and satisfied with your life.







iVillage Member
Registered: 05-30-2006
In reply to: gl_1911
Fri, 07-07-2006 - 5:52am

I've heard that before. Looks like I am out of luck then, because I'm never going to be happy as long as I'm alone. And to me dating is everything because I've never had a girlfriend in my life and what I want more than anything in life is to know what it is like to be loved and for someone to let me love them, I don't see how anyone could take something like that for granted. Every day all I feel is lonely and I hate myself for it because I know it is all my fault. There's nothing I can do about my job its not like you can quit the army so thats not something i can change. Now I am really embarassed and ashamed of myself.




Edited 7/7/2006 6:12 am ET by gl_1911

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