need an honest opinion
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need an honest opinion
| Fri, 07-08-2005 - 9:21pm |
Lets say I really like this guy and he will be 40 in a couple of months, never been married, busy career. What are the odds he will seriously involve himself with a single mother of a 9 yo?

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You wrote: "If I see him on-line in 2 weeks - he is a goner."
Have you told him this? I ask because I don't think it's fair or realistic to expect someone to live up to an expectation you haven't conveyed.
Sheri
Eh, I don't know about this for sure but I suspect the foul play..
we are dating and sleeping together - I know there was no exclusive talk but I think it is only normal to assume that I wouldn't want him to be on-line. Another thing - I don't want to be the one initiating "the talk" and that is why I will give this 2 wks. If doesn't get it by than - he is not worth keeping because I wouldn't want to be with someone who thinks it's ok to date someone while keeping his on-line status going.
Hi, jumping in late on the thread...
I think Sheri made a great point here. I understand that you feel if he's having a sexual relationship with you, he shouldn't have his profile up. However, everone behaves and see the world differently. If you haven't defined an exclusive relationship, then it's a bit dangerous to hold him to that. He could be thinking it's more casual, etc. I know I've been in a casual thing when the man I've been with thought it to be more serious...
My suggestion is also
Making assumptions is a very dangerous thing. If it's important to you, then IMO you need to bring it up and talk to him about it.
And if you feel the way you state in your post, then why even give him the two weeks?
Sheri
Whoa, nelly! My honest opinion, ivos, is that you should step back a bit here, take a deep breath and look at the whole picture. You sound very upset and that is not helping you to think straight.
The fact is, it is NOT wise to assume that your OLD date wouldn't be online. That's where he found you, and that's where he remains at this very early stage regardless of the fact that nudity was involved.
Men don't love women with sex. They don't read into it, either. It just is.
I don't think he's a liar at all, he put what he wants plainly in his profile.
I am very sorry for your disappointment!
amjay
:)
I mean, you sound disappointed and this may be colouring your judgment. In other words, you are seeing everything as a negative.
Viewing the situation in a positive light (i.e. making nobody wrong), I see two people who are at the beginning stages of an OLD match up, dating at their own pace.
If there was a mistep on your part, I see it in your comment that some things need not be said. This view is the cause of much useless grief in any relationship, IMHO. I think all things need to be said, although timing is everything.
BTW, why do you want this guy? There are so many wonderful men in this world, men who will like and respect you for who and where you are in your life! Being a single mother is a huge job that should be ADMIRED, not looked upon as a liability!
N'est pas?
amjay
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