Need Input

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-31-2006
Need Input
4
Tue, 10-31-2006 - 2:49pm

I met this really great guy from a yahoo chat room. We talked and sent text messages for four months before we met in person. He is the sweetest, most attentive person I have ever met. He didn't lie to me about himself at all, but physically he wasn't what I was expecting. He is very heavy (I think he had weight loss surgery - but not positive) but a very sweet and handsome man. His weight isn't an issue with me - other than the fact I am concerned about health issues for him down the road - especially if we continue and have a permanent relationship. This guy is a real keeper!!! Because of his personality and just him being who he is, I don't care about his weight. He has a great career (as I do), my son loves him and he is very good with my son, he has a son that is a terrific kid and we have TONS of things in common. Those are all the things that are important to me. He certainly isn't someone I would have choosen off the street - and yes I did see a picture of him before he came out to visit. I am so overly attracted to his inner person and his smile and the fact that he is an upstanding individual that I want to continue with a relationship with him.

My biggest question is - people are ignorant out there (coworkers, friends, family - without meaning to be sometimes) how do I handle rude or ignorant people who question my motive for being with this tremendously wonderful man?

Thanks for your comments!

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2002
Tue, 10-31-2006 - 2:58pm

How awful that people would be mean - intentionally or otherwise by questioning why you are with someone that is kind, thoughtful, considerate with a good career and is good with your child!

131.gif image by y_baros th5K.gif image by jade_simo

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2005
Wed, 11-01-2006 - 11:10pm
Here's my general rule about people: If they ain't paying my bills, living my life and giving me a shoulder to cry on when I need it, then ignore 'em... ;o)
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Thu, 11-02-2006 - 9:11am
Exactly!
Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

Photobucket

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2005
Thu, 11-02-2006 - 10:59am

I read your post a couple of times because you mentioned his weight far too many times for you to be "okay" with it. AND you worry what others will say. As we all know I am dealing with a man I work with and have been since last November. He is a very large man and never once did I ever wonder what my friends or family would say about him and his weight. Plus...my friend is black and that never even crossed my mind how others would react to that either. NEVER. If you truly see this man for who he is you would not be asking this question. If you accept this man unconditionally this will be apparent with your family and friends and they wouldn't say anything to you.

I really advise you to evaluate this within yourself. Make sure that you are "okay" with his weight because if it isn't it will come back to you in the worst kind of way.

I wish you luck because he isn't about his weight and is all about all the other fabulous things you like about him. His health is extremely important, however; so make sure that you will be able to allow him to be himself at all times with you.

F