Need to justify not matching?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-10-2005
Need to justify not matching?
5
Sun, 11-26-2006 - 7:30pm
I am currently trying OLD, but due to my hectic schedule, I can only allocate a certain amount of time to contacting and meeting people. A guy contacted me, and I looked at his profile. I am sure he is a great guy for someone, but I didn't find him attractive, he lives almost an hour away from me, and I didn't see any common interests in his profile. In short, there was nothing to spark my interest, although he did fit into the general category of what I am looking for. I replied to him with a No thank you. And he replied back saying that he thinks we are a good match, and wants to know why I didn't think so. Is this normal? I don't want to be mean, but do I need to respond? I feel on the defensive here. How do you choose who to pursue?
Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 11-26-2006 - 8:14pm

No, you don't need to respond. It really annoys me when people try to argue with you--that's part of the reason I don't send "thanks but no thanks" emails as a rule.

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-30-2006
Sun, 11-26-2006 - 9:49pm
I've learned that the best answer is "NO RESPONSE", he will figure it out! Obviously he wants to get into an email match and you don't owe him any reason. In future I suggest you don't reply at all, it is easier for all if you just don't reply is there is no interest.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-13-2006
Sun, 11-26-2006 - 9:54pm
I hate it when they can't just let it be. I also hate it when they send nasty emails even if you don't send a reply.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-01-2006
Sun, 11-26-2006 - 11:44pm

OMG - I HATE it when they do that! The only thing it does is confirm that you've made the right choice. I agree with the others - do not respond!

In general, I think responding at all is just rubbing it in their face that you aren't interested. I feel bad doing it, so I just delete their email and hope they get the hint. However, on the flip side, I appreciate it when guys tell me "no thanks" because I very rarely make the initial contact, so when I do it is someone that I feel I would truly be compatible with. So, I would like to know why he's passing, even if just out of curiosity and I'm sure a lot of guys feel the same way. Unfortunately, the wierdos ruin it for everyone.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2004
Mon, 11-27-2006 - 8:59am

Ugh!

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