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| Fri, 06-03-2005 - 3:57pm |
It's been a while since I have been here, but thought I would throw this out to all of you and see what you thought about this situation I am in.
I met someone online and we have been dating for a few of months. We had the "exclusive" talk, agreed that was where we were at. It was going pretty well.
A friend of mine was encouraged by my success and decided to join the same site and in the process we looked up my guys profile so she could see his pic, etc. The next day when she logged in she got an email from, guess who, my guy. The email was very generic, a "just wanted to say hi" kind of mail. My friend told me about it, and to say the least I was surprised. When I did confront him on it he said he does go to the website to respond to emails he gets, only because it is impolite to not respond. The thing is, my friend did not contact him, she just looked at his profile!
After much more discussion, I told him that was a deal breaker and I broke it off.
If this happened to you, what would you have done?

I would have done exactly what you did. Dishonesty is a dealbreaker for me too.
It's posts like these that give me encouragement!! Girlfriend, you did the right thing. That would have been a dealbreaker for me, TRUST is a biggie for me and once you have crossed that line, that's it!! You did the right thing and I applaud YOU!!!
You must have a lot of respect for yourself!! I applaud you for making the decision in the moment and not making up or buying excuses.
Onwards and upwards, girlfriend. His loss!!
amjay
HI COgirl,
"Rude", did he say Rude?! Here in Texas, Rude is classified as "jerk who says he is exclusive and is More worried about the feelings of unknown females, than the female he Just committed to"! Once you are off, you are OFF of OLD(this is like being pregnant, you Cannot be "kinda pregnant", either!)--no need to be lurking,and--- Busted!, he wrote to your friend without solicitation. A REAL man has the huevos to know a great woman (You!) and grab on with both paws, not keep searching the planet for others!
I wonder....did you have some intuition that this might be going on? Usually we women have pretty good 'radar'. Shame on him, but Karma wil take care of him. Meanwhile, you move on to Bigger and Better, Chica!
You did exactly what we here on Planet Cupcake would highly suggest..."Ding! Next!" Hooray You!
Truly,
Cupcake
Yeah, there were some things going on before that made me pause and say "huh?" But nothing concrete. I had already decided to take it realllyyy slow because of my doubts when this happened. Just good timing all the way around.
I've got to say, this guy is really good. He knew exactly what buttons to say to me to make me rethink my decision - dug into those places that he knew I was most vulnerable. He is one of the best liers and manipulators I have ever met. I'm chalking this up as a good learning experience!
Thanks for the support, everyone! I have always been the type who would fall for this in the past but have been trying to learn from those mistakes. It feels good to stand up for myself (it's also nice to have very wise, wonderful friends who help me in making those changes).
Whew, what a challenge this whole dating thing is!
Wow! No that has not happened to me....YET! I am hoping that is not what is happening now. This is the first time I dated somebody from online. I guess it is like anywhere else....you never know what your going to get!
Please read my post and tell me what you think if you get a minute.
The title is Is "this" worth pursuing?
Thanks,
GOOD LUCK!
tuh4