Need Some Advice
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| Fri, 02-02-2007 - 2:16am |
I had been talking to this guy from an online dating site and we decided to meet last weekend. Well, the date seemed to go well. We met for drinks and talked for hours and he wanted to do something after we left the restaurant, but it was late and not much was open. He said that he definitely wanted to go out with me again. When we were leaving the restaurant he was hugging me and holding my hand and told me that I was very pretty. He was acting interested. Well, it has been nearly 6 days now and he hasn't called. I was thinking that maybe I should just call him and tell him that I head a nice time last week, but don't know if I should. I am a little confused right now because when we met he was acting interested and I expected to hear from him by now. Has this happened to anyone else? What should I do? I really thought that this guy had some potential and I am very disappointed right now.
Thanks

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Edited 2/9/2007 5:47 am ET by coolas
I was wondering the same thing!
I just think that incosiderate is just plain incisiderate and saying that he is just being a guy is an excuse.
Oh, it's definitely an "excuse."
You are somehow implying that as if the woman is somehow at fault.
No, no, that's not true.
I think of the whole HJNTIY concept as a clever, marketable way of saying "he's just not the right guy for you". So rather than getting all twisted up in how "into" you a guy is, I try to focus on evaluating whether he's right for me.
So--is a guy who gives you this level of attention right for you, regardless of the reason why? That's the question you should be asking yourself, IMO.
It may have nothing to do with you--he may having stuff going on in his life that makes it difficult for him to date someone regularly, he may have other women he's dating that take up his time, he may have a serious health problem like I found out the Rescheduler does--who knows? But the bottom line is, you're not getting the level of attention that you'd like from a potential partner at this point in the dating process.
Oh, and rarely is a guy going to be honest with you about how "into" you he is--he wants to keep his options open and telling you that is going to cut options off. So I think asking is a big waste of time, in most instances.
Sheri
"So--is a guy who gives you this level of attention right for you, regardless of the reason why? That's the question you should be asking yourself, IMO."
Hmm.. Yes, I was pondering this, this evening. I think you're right and I guess the bottom line with this guy is, that he isn't willing or able (don't know which) to give sufficient time to me to make it worth going through the 'is he going to be in touch and when' BS after each date. If he does get in touch again, I will go out with him one more time and lay it out there in black and white (step it up, or bugger off) and let the chips fall where they may. If he doesn't get in touch then this is all moot and I'm thinking it won't be so terrible; as engaging and attractive as he is, he is also incredibly arrogant and I get the feeling, rather selfish too. It sure has been a ride though!
Thanks for the advice.
Coolas
I would venture to guess that if you end up having that conversation with him, he'll most likely assure you that he'll step it up, but then nothing will change (which is kind of what has happened a couple times already if I'm reading your previous post correctly).
Anyway, keep me posted! Did you read in my other post that I found out why my disappearing guy has been so sporadic?
Sheri
LOL!! I am sure you're right about that! I'll keep you posted, though I do feel we are nearing the end of the story!
Yes, I did read about the re-scheduler's problem, quite a shocking thing to find out - has he been in touch at all?
Take care, and thanks for your words of wisdom.
Coolas
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