Need your opinions

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2004
Need your opinions
11
Fri, 02-10-2006 - 1:27pm

So a new guy wrote to me on myspace today.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2002
Fri, 02-10-2006 - 2:02pm

I hate that too, especially when they are particularly gushy like this guy was with you. Of course you ARE a beautiful girl - but it almost seems to lose it's "power" when a guy keeps saying it!

At this point, you've agreed to meet him so I'd say keep the meeting and make sure you have an out. Since it's just drinks, you won't have to spend a lot of time with him.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-27-2003
Fri, 02-10-2006 - 2:34pm


I've had this happen too and I hate it, but I always tried to make light of the situation until I met the guy. Sometimes they aren't aware that they are coming across a little too strong. Afterall, men know women like to be told they are beautiful (which you are Stacey) but some of them don't understand that sometimes less is more KWIM?

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What I would say is something like, "Whoa cowboy, slow down just a little bit, let's meet and see how things go before you use up all your good lines". Again, I always tried to keep things light and fun in hopes that they pick up on the meaning. If not, then I'd be more direct and possibly end up ghosting if they still didn't get it.

Good Luck, let us know how it goes.

Libra

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-16-2003
Sat, 02-11-2006 - 12:12pm
I hate that too. It's just so phony. I might go and give him the first chance, but if anything seems off, ghost.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2004
Sat, 02-11-2006 - 4:29pm

Update:

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-05-2003
Sat, 02-11-2006 - 7:13pm
It's a brush-off, so just be direct & to the point. Tell him you felt uncomfortable when he came on too strong & you need a match to be more laid back.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2002
Sat, 02-11-2006 - 7:31pm
Yup, OK. You get a free pass to be completely and totally DONE with this freak. You absolutely do NOT have to meet him. What a freak. NEXT!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-01-2005
Sat, 02-11-2006 - 8:32pm

That is the WORST. Barf. Only problem is, those guys see zero problem with acting like this, and get offended when you call them on it. I don't know, maybe I haven't been able to explain clearly to them WHY it's so creery.

I usually tell them that their behavior is creepy, and block them. It's not normal to be that excited about someone you've never met. Desperate and unattractive.

Sorry for being so harsh, but yuck.







iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2004
Sun, 02-12-2006 - 3:51am

I should also mention, we had no definite plans to meet - I just said yes to "sometime next week."

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-19-2005
Sun, 02-12-2006 - 11:00am

I really *wonder* about guys who comes on so strong from the get go. A bit presumptuous?I mean, he has no idea who you are or what you are about.

Looking for an easy hook up? The fact he's so comfortable doing this tells me he probably does this with every gal he meets. What a lady killah.

Edited 2/12/2006 7:05 pm ET by happyjustme




Edited 2/12/2006 7:07 pm ET by happyjustme
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2002
Sun, 02-12-2006 - 11:05am
If I were you, I WOULD call him out on his behavior. It's just unacceptable and you'd potentially be saving another woman from being subjected to this horror. You can do it and block him, but I would do it. I got an email from a guy on Match once that was a disgusting description of what it would be like for us to kiss. This was a FIRST email!! I was completely creeped out and I responded back with something like "So does this approach ever work for you because quite frankly, it creeped me out." then I blocked him. I felt I owed it to other women everywhere to hopefully keep it from happening again!

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