Never been married?
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Never been married?
| Fri, 10-14-2005 - 7:18pm |
Something that another poster pointed out started me thinking and I'd like your input on it... (I won't name the poster unless she comes forward and says it was her since I dont' want to call anyone out...)
But here goes... if a man (or woman) has not been married by the age of 35, do you think that's an indicator that he/she cannot hold down a long-term relationship that will result in marriage?
Curious about your thoughts...

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Ouch. Luckily I have Marcia Cross to look up to. She's marrying a guy who's never been married and 47 years old. I know she's over 40 also and never been married.
I swear I never wanted to be here. 40 and never married. I'm pissed off about it and I can't believe out of all my friends it's me who is still single. Now I'm a gigantic red flag to others. Great.
As long as you don't print that on a t-shirt and wear it while out chic hunting IRL you will be fine.
Oh gosh no... I'm sorry Teri.. I didn't mean to make it sound like you said that or anything. The incapable part came from a few posts in the past where others have said similar things... So please, don't take it to mean you said anything. I take full responsibility.
And for everyone else... if I offended, then that was not the intention, the intention was simply to start a conversation...
Teri, again... sorry for any confusion.
***edited to say: I took the general idea from Teri, but used my own words! THat's what I was trying to spit out... lol
that has never been married, just because I like to deal with people who have had similiar life experiences, same thing holds for he must have kids. However, just as I would like someone dealing with me to keep an open mind, I must keep an open mind as well.
So in all fairness I would give the person the benefit of the doubt and investigate why he never married, if it's circumstances that are acceptable to me and he proves himself to be a great guy, I would maybe go for it.
no worries, I just wanted to make sure that I was not offending anyone when I posted the message earlier today. Trust me, I am dating a man who is 38 and never married. I realize this can be a touchy subject. Personally, I think it is a good conversation to get out there. As I said I realize there are many many reasons for not marrying. I definatley explored why my guy had not married....and encourage that open communication.
my post from earlier....
http://messageboards.ivillage.com/n/mb/message.asp?webtag=iv-rlcyber&msg=10229.15
I was married for 10 years. I am only 32. I need someone to teach me how to be a bachelorette!
I am finding as a bachelorette that if I am not in a relationship then I throw myself into my work and "marry" it.....
edit--when I met my current bachelor of a bf I at first thought I was too domesticated for him...hard to explain but I felt tame. I was not use to going out and dating. I was use to cooking and spending the night in.....it was comical.
Edited 10/14/2005 11:04 pm ET by teri_73
Flaws in logic with this line of thinking. First of all, many people live with someone for years without getting legally married....living in sin is not just for movie stars like Susan Sarandon and Tim Robbins! :) Secondly, as some have already posted, a man can put his family plans on hold as long as he wants; look at Warren Beatty, the Playboy of the Western World: he waited until he had truly sown plenty of wild oats, then married and started a family. Thirdly, what is this about not being able to stay in a relationship? Some men are rather shy and passive. I work with a fellow (not an interest of mine, for various reasons, including 20-yr-age dif!) who would make some woman a terrific husband...but she'll have to chase HIM, as he just won't make the effort.
What about women? I constantly get the question, "How come you never married?" It strikes me funny, it's sort of like being asked, "How come you never moved to New York?" Well, I don't know, it just never happened, I say. It wasn't a goal of mine. I desperately wanted romance and to love and be loved....THAT didn't happen! THAT was the tragedy, not missing out on a wedding (as I did NOT want kids and did NOT want a little hosue in suburbia, etc.). "I can't understand why someone as pretty and terrific as you never got snapped up," the person (male or female) will say. Well, honey, you and me BOTH! LOL It had nothing to do with not being able to stay in a relationship....except, you know, it did and maybe does. If I fall in love, I (like msot women) really know that this is what I want, and I get impatient when the man doesn't seem to realize it. Maybe I seem "needy." Well, my last relationship before my present one was 25 yrs ago....go figure.
Anyhow, Marcia Cross is a wonderful heroine to those unmarried girls, but my heroine is still Gloria Steinem. My favorite feminist didn't marry until she was past 60--hurrah!
P. S. I am trying to work up a study for an article on women who reach 50 without ever having married (or lived with a man for very long). I know a number of women in that situation. If you know anyone like this, get in touch with me, please. :)
The guy I was seeing until about an hour ago (LOL) definitely thought it was weird that I have never been married at 37.
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