Never Ever Going to Date Online Again!!!
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| Thu, 01-20-2005 - 3:14am |
After giving it my all over the past year, I've come up empty. In addition to meeting a bi-polar loon who kept me trapped in his apartment for two days, I've also met a guy who I really liked and seemed to like me and he ended up being more obsessed with online gaming than he was with love (or even sex for that matter.) I've also had the pleasure of meeting many men who thought I didn't live up to their standards of what a woman should be. Some were very pushy about meeting me until they found out I wasn't a push-over or a girly-girl. I'm giving up. I'd rather be single for the rest of my life than to be with these guys.
If I could say anything to the ladies out there it would be, "You can do better." Being single isn't the worst thing that ever happened to anyone. And, if a man doesn't respond to your ad, count yourself as blessed and move on. The gaming guy didn't respond to me for six months. Now, I wish he hadn't bothered. Don't take it personally and don't waste your time sitting by the computer waiting for some guy you don't know to contact you. If they can't see how valuable you are, you don't need them. Believe me, no man is sitting by his computer waiting for you! They're out there living and having a life while you sit there alone. Drop 'em and move forward!

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Thanks for stopping by! Have a nice day.
Let's face it, this forum is for people who ARE doing OLD, or at least willing to talk about it. If you're so totally dead-set against it, it'd be a waste of your time to hang with us, and a waste of our time to try and argue or discuss it with you.
FWIW, I can see how you'd be burnt out on it, but I would respectfully suggest the problem isn't OLD itself, but the nutjobs you wound up with. I mean, kidnapping? More into online gaming than SEX?
And to be even more forward and rude... the only thing that each of these situations has in common is YOU. If you continually wind up in a weird/freaky kind of deal, well, perhaps the place to look for the answer is not elsewhere.
There's a saying- don't blame the mirror for your looks.
Or something like that, I don't really know the saying. LOL You get the gist.
Having a bad day? or bitter to the bone? Sorry but this is just your experience.
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It seems that you settled for less and even risked your own safety just for the sake of dating. You went out with ANY man. That's just not my way to do it. I'd look for someone I'm interested in and who has some similar hobbies and values, not just with any man.
OLD is somewhat a deal of looking, trying and more looking for me. Patience is what I have to have to find the right man I'd want to spend more time with and not just a first or second date.
Perhaps having a break of OLD and reviewing your approach to it may change your mind in time.
No, being single ISN'T the worst thing in the world, but like NGOL said, this is an online dating forum.
Well, rivka, sounds like you've had a devilish time with OLD!!
Maybe you could use another perspective? For me OLD is just one more way to meet my goal of getting a bf. And because nothing in my life depends on meeting that goal I can be patient and stay positive (and not let all those frogs get me down!).
I am sorry that you had some bad experiences and maybe you're right in that OLD is not for you. But for me, wanting a bf is not about "not being single". And because OLD hasn't yet worked for me doesn't mean it never will.
Perspective is everything, don't you think?
Ok. But if it's a forum for discussion, shouldn't the other side be represented also. Such as my side and the side of many other women (men, also) who've decided to get off the computer and look for love the old fashioned way because they've had a hard time with OLD? Dangers are everywhere despite how careful you may try to be. For example, I e-mailed and chatted back and forth with the crazy guy for months before finally meeting him. In none of our discussions did he even elude to the fact, in behavior or otherwise, that he was unmedicated. When I finally met him - Whammo! I'm not bitter as another poster eluded to, I'm just realistic. My original post was directed at all the posters who have sad emoticons next to thier topic starters because some dorky guy didn't call them or meet them for thier date.
If you enjoy OLD, then by all means, continue. I can't even believe I got five responses to my post. I didn't realize I'd stir up such a storm of opposition. Don't you all have better things to put your hopes in? Geez! It's a sign you take the web way too seriously when you jump on ONE person who goes against what you're doing. Chill out!
Um...you actually EXPECTED a crazy guy to TELL you he was not taking his meds???
And hey, if you find love the "old fashioned way", more power to ya! I've personally had way more luck meeting decent men to date online than through "traditional" methods. I don't think anyone's saying it's the ONLY way, but it is A way.
Sheri
How would there be a guarantee that he wouldn't have done that if you met him at, say, a bookstore as opposed to online? If there was something in his appearance that tipped you off, what were you doing alone with him in the first place?
I don't go anywhere alone with someone until we've gone out a number of times in public and I feel comfortable, regardless of where or how I met him (the only exception would be if we were set up by friends who've known him well for a while).
Sheri
Hi. I'm really sorry that your experiences with online dating were disappointing and that you have found that this method of meeting men to potentially date is not for you.
Thank you for sharing your side of the story.
He and I had hung out on occassions before. I just happened to go over to his place on one of his "bad" days. True. How do you know that someone you meet at a bookstore won't do the same thing? All I can say is, I've met men at all sorts of places and it's never happened before. I have limited experience in that area so it could happen. But it could also happen if you're hanging out with someone who a friend has introduced you to. (Most women are raped by men they know.) And, crazy things could happen walking through the park or picking flowers in your garden. You never know.
I've not tried to discourage anyone regarding OLD. I simply came here to state my choice and offer encouragement to other women who are tired of it also. Instead of getting encouragement in return for my OWN choice, I get a personal attack from the first poster and others, saying it's my own fault, look in the mirror, etc. I actually have posted on this board under a different name so I'm not new here at all. A few months ago, I might've been more encouraging but the difference is, I would be encouraging despite what a person chose to do. If you all want to sugar-coat the truth that sometimes bad things happen, feel free to keep it up. Have fun! I hope you never find out that they can. As for me, I'll be searching for a more open forum where different points of view are appreciated and individual choice is encouraged. Good day.
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