never said anything

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-03-2005
never said anything
12
Tue, 10-04-2005 - 5:52pm
I've met a guy online and we dated twice and we chat on IM pretty much every night. This week he has to work so we can't chat though. He said we could email instead. At the first of this week, he mentioned that he might not be doing anything this weekend. So we said that if he wasn't, I would go to his place again. I emailed him today asking how his week was going and how his plans were coming for the weekend. He replied saying that he and his aunt were trying to figure out where dinner would be and that so far nobody asked him to work overtime but things could change very quickly. He never mentioned anything about us getting together again. I asked him jokingly if he missed me at the beginning of my email and he said "of course he missed me". I don't know how to take him. I'm getting the feeling that's a lie and he doesn't want to see me again.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2005
Tue, 10-04-2005 - 6:07pm
Question... have you already had sex with him?
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-03-2005
Tue, 10-04-2005 - 6:10pm
No, I didn't.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-09-2004
Tue, 10-04-2005 - 6:15pm
Well it's only Tuesday. You shouldn't worry yet. I would avoid asking loaded questions like "Did you miss me"? in the near future. I think that may tend to scare a guy off if it's early into the relationship. You did mention that you would go to his place "again"? Had your previous date(s) been at his place? The only reason why I ask is to try and determine how serious he may be about you.
hello
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-03-2005
Tue, 10-04-2005 - 6:22pm
When I asked if he missed me, I put lol at the end and said just kidding. At the end of his reply, he put btw..of course I miss you! I really didn't think he would actually miss me since we've only been on two dates so whether he meant it or not, I don't know. Yes, the previous date was at his place. The first one wasn't though.


Edited 10/4/2005 6:30 pm ET ET by cute_one2005
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-09-2004
Tue, 10-04-2005 - 6:31pm
Well I just read the other post and thankfully you haven't slept with him yet. Sounds like you really like him. But please don't offer to go over his place so soon (again). Maybe the two of you can do something outdoorsy if theirs a concern about money (on his end), like have a picnic. But then again the weather may not permit?
I just hate it when you've established a pattern with someone (like IMing or chatting daily), and then something changes that pattern. It's normal to imagine that something between you two has changed.
I'm sure you haven't said or did anything wrong, so try not to think too much about this weekend and keep yourself busy until then.
hello
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-03-2005
Tue, 10-04-2005 - 6:53pm
So, with him not mentioning us doing something this weekend, you don't think that he's giving me the brush-off? Like you said, it is only Tues so I'm hoping for the best anyway.


Edited 10/4/2005 6:55 pm ET ET by cute_one2005
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2005
Tue, 10-04-2005 - 7:03pm

It's hard to tell. Since you have a relatively new history, it could be that he's just meeting up with his aunt and has a crazy schedule that he needs to play by ear or it could be he's putting you on hold. Not sure... is there anything else within his behavior that is leading you to think he's giving you the brush off?


I know you mentioned IMing and emailing... but do you guys call each other at all? Do you have his home number? (Just a ? of curiosity.)


I would hold off on thinking anything is strange until you get to that point. If he doesn't confirm something by tomorrow night, then I would say go on about your business and make a date with some friends. If this guy has intentions of seeing you again, he will. And as another poster said... keep the dates outside of the home for awhile until you establish what you're doing here.


Hope this helps.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-03-2005
Wed, 10-05-2005 - 7:18am
There's nothing else that would lead me to believe that but it's just feeling I got after reading his message. He just seemed so abrubt. We don't call even though we've exchanged numbers and yes, he gave me his home phone number. Another thing, wrong on my part, I know, but I sent a reply to his saying he missed me. I said that it was sweet that he misses me and that I miss him too because he's such a good cuddler and I put a smiley face. This morning I checked my messages and noticed he read and deleted that message already. He never deleted the other ones though, whatever that means. I'm going to see if he's online tonight and see what he says then.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2004
Wed, 10-05-2005 - 8:40am

"I would avoid asking loaded questions like "Did you miss me"? in the near future."


Ditto!!!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-01-2005
Wed, 10-05-2005 - 3:10pm

I agree.

CL-Truewild1969

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