Never snoop unless you are prepared for
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Never snoop unless you are prepared for
| Wed, 01-24-2007 - 1:11pm |
what you may find.
I could kick myself. It was a momentary lapse in ... well, everything I want to be! (honest, adult, not sneaky) ... & when Carlos was in the shower this morning at my house, I looked at his text messages. Pure & simple, I snooped. & I didnt like what I found.


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I agree with what everyone else has said so far.
The next course of action seems to be ...you should follow through with finishing that convo he started. It seems you abruptly ended the conversation out of fear, and honestly, I feel that your answer to him ("I know better...") was a little self degrading. It's almost like you are choosing the bad ending by that comment instead of exploring where the conversation could lead.
Just point blank ASK him "What expectations do you think I have?"
Ya know, I thought of that after - saying what i did about "knowing better".
Rebecca,
I definitely agree with the others that you do need to talk to him. I've been reading your posts and Carlos sounds like a really great guy.
It does kind of sound like he may have some commitmentphobe issues but he also sounds like he really likes you. Kinda confusing that one! My only concern is that he hasn't brought up the exclusivity talk again now that you are further into the relationship. In my opinion, 6 months is kind of a long time to date without being exclusive, but if it has been working for you up until now thats what matters. It could be that he is waiting for you to bring it up again since the last time he brought it up you said you weren't ready. But, the fact that he did bring it up a few months ago definitely sounds like he has thought about it and may be open to exclusivity.
I hope things go well for you and turn out the way you want. You seem like a great person who deserves so much.
Jen
Yikes Rebecca!
Well...I would advise to tread lightly...its could be a mine field...But it has been my experience to be sure that you want the truth and can handle the honesty when snooping or asking those pointed and probing questions.
Typically - I am not a cynic. But I am prepared to hear the WORST when I ask that question such as "Where do I fit in", "Where are we going in this..."...
Also, to be perfectly honest - you have had the opportunity to meet others...is Carlos aware of that? Perhaps he is just testing the waters...I would go with your gut feeling on this - its been my experience that it is not typically wrong....
Cheers
Sarah
I have to add that I don't agree with Natalie on this. I think this guy might be dodging the "talk" but not for the same reasons. My gut is telling me that he fears that "you" are not as sure about "him" being the one, so in order for "him" not to get hurt, he has not brought up any talk about the future for fear of you saying that you want to date others. The sooner you get this out in the open the better. Oh, and before I forget, I think I would not mention seeing the text messages. In fact, I'm not sure I'd ever bring that one up. My instincts are telling me that that issue won't matter a whole lot anyway after you've had your discussion. I don't think I'd borrow trouble there. Just let it be and forgive yourself for doing it and try to put it in the past.
You seem to be falling for this guy, you have fantastic sex and he seems to like your daughter. He seems to have a lot less baggage than many guys I've gone out with or heard about. He makes my prospects look quite unappealing in comparison. Go for it and let us know what he says. :)
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